Don’t we all long to be good moms?  Sometimes that is why motherhood is so hard.  If we do anything that seems like failure we loose heart and go through the motions without conviction and determination.  Nothing stifles your dreams for motherhood faster than percieved failure.

“You might as well not even try.  You just keep getting it wrong”

Ever thought anything close to that?  You used to dream of all of the great things you would do with your kids.  The list of what you would teach them was long.  Your hopes and dreams had no limits.  Your kids would go far and you would do whatever you could to get them there.

Maybe now you just make it through the day?  Perhaps you wake up and brace yourself for the day and still feel exhausted by mid afternoon?  You can barely think through the week much less to next year.

We grow weary and loose perspective {well, it’s stolen really}.  This is the battle we have entered.  It is a war for the dreams that God planted in our hearts for the children that He gave us.  Raising them up to be all they could be was His dream long before it was yours.  But, if you find yourself with your dreams crushed and broken by the overwhelming day to day, there is hope.

Here are 5 Ways to Awaken Your Dreams for Motherhood

1. Keep them in front of you

Think back to that very first day when you found out your were expecting a baby or decided to adopt. Relive the moments after your child was born.  What dreams were stirred in your heart?  What was alive and awake and fresh for you then?  What ways did you know that you wanted to reach their hearts?  Ask God to stir up the dreams you had and the ones He has for your mothering. Write those things down.

Years ago a friend of mine told me that she longed to have sons who were strong and godly men who were examples to the men in our culture.  I never forgot her declaration because it stirred my heart so much for my own son.  “Yes, I long for that for him!”  It began a thought and prayer process in me of how to get him to that point.  These are the types of things we need to remember, to write down, the keep in front of us and revisit often.  It would even be great to print these dreams out and put them in a place we will see everyday and can you imagine your kids seeing the things you are hoping and praying for them for?  It will teach them to hope and dream too.

2. Remember that the biggest battle is in your mind. Take thoughts captive

I mentioned above the failure-thoughts that we think.  Those thoughts are lies and we must take them captive.  God NEVER tells us anything that isn’t drenched in love.  He IS love and can be nothing less than all loving.  Even His correction is tender and loving.  So these failure thoughts, these “I’m so overwhelmed” thoughts need to be told the truth.  No you aren’t! You are an overcomer. Period.  You are never overwhelmed when you lay everything at the feet of Jesus.  He always overwhelms what overwhelms you.

Meditate on God’s word.  Find scripture that speaks to your circumstances and start telling those thoughts the truth.  Before long you’ll find that your mind has been renewed and transformed.  You’ll recognize those toxic thoughts more quickly and be able to crush them before they crush you.

3. Don’t grow weary in doing good

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galations 6:9

This scripture stares at me and mocks me.  Don’t grow weary?  Ha! I’ve never met a mom who didn’t grow weary. But I missed the point.  God’s Word is telling us not to grow weary in dong good.  This mothering thing is a good thing! Such a worthy investment of ourselves.  God’s word also tells us how to not grow weary. By waiting on the Lord.  IF we wait on the Lord…every day {because God’s presence is like mana, we need it afresh every day} then we “shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” {Isaiah 40:31}

4. Gain outside perspective

I’ve been a mom for over 14 years now.  It can be so hard in the middle of the every day stuff to think of anything but the routine.  So very hard.  I gave birth to 7 babies in 10 years and I get how hard it is.  But now I am past the baby stage.  My youngest is 4 and I sometimes catch myself watching a mom with a fussy newborn, seeing her frustration and desire to settle the child and I just wish I could have spoken to myself in those moments of the earliest days.  Because it’s really going to be okay.  You’ll figure out what your baby needs eventually and they will calm and snuggle into you again.  There’s no need for it to be upsetting but, in the moment, it is.  I could use this example for so many things: for potty training, for spilled milk, for crayon colored walls, for bickering siblings… Sometimes we need to get away from it all and, get outside of our situations and see them for what they really are.

To have hope for dreaming and achieving those dreams we need to be able to stop every once in a while and think about the big picture.  It’s so far outside of the moments we get caught up in.  And we will get caught up in them but when we learn to escape them every so often and take time to think about them with fresh perspective it will begin to change how we handle those things in the moment too.

5. Don’t forget to dream for yourself

Dreams beget dreams.  Rekindle your own dreams.  Let your self go there.  Trust in a good God who is a dream fulfiller and seek His will for your dreams.  Dream with Him and trust Him when He shows you things that stir your heart but scare you.

When you begin to dream in little ways it is like opening up the flood gates.  Once you open the doors to dreams they rush in from all over.  Make time to dream for yourself and soon you’ll be dreaming with and for your husband, and your kids too.

What are some of the dreams for motherhood that you need to revisit today?  Do you have any other steps that you advise we take to awaken our dreams?

Dreaming with you, Kristin of The Beautiful Deep

I remember telling my mom, in the the shyest of ways, that I felt like there was greatness in me. I knew that God had a calling on my life and I knew that it was significant. That greatness is in all of us who have surrendered to Jesus. His calling on each of us is a call to live with His extraordinary greatness flowing out of us.

For too long I have felt desperate, overwhelmed and have moaned about how hard mothering is. I somehow lost sight of that greatness.

I hear God calling me to wake up. I sense He’s calling us all to wake up to greatness.

Yes, being a momma IS hard but we have a choice to quit moaning and being overwhelmed and saturate ourselves in the presence of God where He calls us to greatness in our homes.

We can lead our children not only to the cross to avoid hell but to God’s face so that they are changed, and the greatness in them is stirred up. So that they hear Him and see Him and KNOW Him. So that He stirs up callings and giftings in their lives while they are but babes and they take their generation for Him because they had a mom who led them to Jesus. A mom who sacrificed her own moaning for an easier life for crying out to God with her children for change. A mom who didn’t just bandage the hurts and wounds of her children but asked God to speak to them and waited on Him with her children in effort to teach them that this is what you do when you are hurt… you run to Him.

You have greatness inside of you. Now let it out! Stir up that greatness in your children by living a life knowing who you are and the using the tools & weapons that you have.

Be overwhelmed with Jesus and not with your circumstances.

Quit fretting about all of your mistakes and how to do it ALL and simply press in, with your children, to see the heart changes you long for, to see God’s power rise up in your home and in their lives.

Pray for their friends as if your children’s lives depended on it (they do). Pray for their schools as if revival is possible (it is). Pray for healing as if it’s yours (it is). Ask for the things you need and watch God move in power and overwhelm what overwhelms you. His greatness is ready – waiting – to rise up in you and do great things.

You are the key momma. You! Yes, all the little things matter and God sees you serving. It’s true. But don’t fall asleep thinking that you can just go about your day and there isn’t an enemy out there waiting and watching for a way to devour you and yours.

Rise up, oh woman of God. Rise up mighty warrior. You are called to greatness. You are called to be a GREAT leader in your home. You are a lioness who has cubs in her care. It’s time to get tough and dirty on your knees before God and even in front of your children. They need to see how you fight. They need you to show them How God fights for them, how He sees them. Quit waiting for something magical to happen in you. You already have everything you need.

Do you feel it rising? It’s called greatness. Now let’s walk in it!

In this with you, Kristin of The Beautiful Deep

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The warm tears slid down my face and were sure to soak my pillow if I stayed there much longer.  I remember staring at the ceiling and not really seeing it, as the weight of my day seemed to sit on my chest with full force.

The day hadn’t been extremely hard. Just a normal day in the life of being a mom with 6 kids.  Lots of messes to clean up and little fights to break up and not getting much else done.

I felt like a failure though as I compared the to dos on my list to what I actually got done and considered that, even with the little I got done, I didn’t spend much time playing with the kids.

I’m a bad mom.

At first I just heard it in my head but it sounded right and I breathed it in and spit it back out. “I’m a bad mom.”

Then something happened that has forever changed my life and made me into the best mom ever. I heard these words:

“Who says you are a bad mom?”

It felt like a punch in the gut and a gentle hug all at the same time as this convicting revelation soaked in deep.

“I say you are a good mom. I made you. I made you to be a mom and I declare that you are good and you are a good mom.  When you keep telling yourself that you are a failure and you declare the lie over yourself that you are a bad mom then you are agreeing with that lie and becoming what you confess.  Stop confessing that over your life!  Start confessing the truth, My truth. You are a good mom and when you believe it and start confessing it, then you will become it.”

Wow. All this time… all the frustration… It was all an opportunity to choose who I was going to believe and allow that reality, that truth or lie, to determine my course as a mom.

Now I know the truth and I walk in it {most days}. I am a good mom… because God says that I am.  He says that you are a good mom too.

You don’t have to do everything right to earn that title.  God created you and He declares that you {His creation} are good.  He also created this thing called motherhood and equips you with everything you need to do it well.  All you need to have to do a great job at it is the truth.

If you have believed that you aren’t a good mom, or feel like you are failing, can I encourage you to sit at the feet of the One who made you and ask Him to show you the truth of how He sees you? Soak it in.  Start to declare what He says is true about you and you WILL start to become it.  He doesn’t say you are perfect or that you do everything right the first time but that you are good.  Allow yourself the freedom to be weak {because that is when He is strongest through you} and walk in the goodness that He has called you to.

Have you ever felt like you were a bad mom? How can you start to walk in the truth today that you are good?

With love from a fellow good mom, Kristin from The Beautiful Deep

Being a mom is often a thankless job.  So much effort.  So little praise.  It doesn’t matter if you do it amazingly well.  It can seem like it is not rewarding at all in the moment of the nitty gritty, day-to-day, mommy stuff.

Being a good wife has its rewards but even then your effort can go unnoticed at times.  You are expected to do what you should and even the best intentioned husband may miss opportunities to offer his appreciation.

But blogging…oh blogging, how gratifying you can be.  I write a post from deep in my heart and there it is…the praise comes and encouragement follows.  I check my email to find a new comment about how great I write or how touched a reader was by my thoughts.  And my heart leaps and the appreciation makes me want to do this blogging thing more.

If I’m not careful I can forget the unappreciative kids and the husband who forgot to say “great job.”  I can let things go that I won’t get any praise for doing anyway and focus my time and energy on things that gain me attention and praise.

It’s the start of a different kind of affair but an affair none the less.  My heart and it’s affections are not where they should be.  I am doing what I am doing to fill a hole and a deep need in my heart to be loved, appreciated and understood.

So how does a blogger guard herself against this type of affair that surely will hurt her husband and children?  Fill up your heart with truth.  Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him be your lover, your confidence, your motivation for doing what you are called to.  He is the only whispers of “great job girl!” and “I love you deeply, I see what you do”  that we ever need.  We could run forever on a tank filled up with Him.

If you are a wife you are called to put your husband on top of your priorities.  If you are a mom, your kids come next.  You are God’s daughter and when He is first it is so much easier to put things in the proper order.  Blogging comes somewhere down the line, only you can decide where, but please put it lower than your family and don’t let it become a different kind of affair.