A Different Kind of Affair

November 8, 2012 By • 21 Comments
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Being a mom is often a thankless job.  So much effort.  So little praise.  It doesn’t matter if you do it amazingly well.  It can seem like it is not rewarding at all in the moment of the nitty gritty, day-to-day, mommy stuff.

Being a good wife has its rewards but even then your effort can go unnoticed at times.  You are expected to do what you should and even the best intentioned husband may miss opportunities to offer his appreciation.

But blogging…oh blogging, how gratifying you can be.  I write a post from deep in my heart and there it is…the praise comes and encouragement follows.  I check my email to find a new comment about how great I write or how touched a reader was by my thoughts.  And my heart leaps and the appreciation makes me want to do this blogging thing more.

If I’m not careful I can forget the unappreciative kids and the husband who forgot to say “great job.”  I can let things go that I won’t get any praise for doing anyway and focus my time and energy on things that gain me attention and praise.

It’s the start of a different kind of affair but an affair none the less.  My heart and it’s affections are not where they should be.  I am doing what I am doing to fill a hole and a deep need in my heart to be loved, appreciated and understood.

So how does a blogger guard herself against this type of affair that surely will hurt her husband and children?  Fill up your heart with truth.  Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him be your lover, your confidence, your motivation for doing what you are called to.  He is the only whispers of “great job girl!” and “I love you deeply, I see what you do”  that we ever need.  We could run forever on a tank filled up with Him.

If you are a wife you are called to put your husband on top of your priorities.  If you are a mom, your kids come next.  You are God’s daughter and when He is first it is so much easier to put things in the proper order.  Blogging comes somewhere down the line, only you can decide where, but please put it lower than your family and don’t let it become a different kind of affair.

Kristin

Kristin Lemus is married to her best friend and "momma" to 7 kids. She has 5 girls and 2 boys (one in heaven). She is passionate about encouraging moms that they are good at what they do and helping them to walk in truth. She's been saved by grace, is madly in love with her Savior and wants everyone to know the amazing freedom He brings. Kristin shares her heart and her stories at The Beautiful Deep.

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21 Comments • Filed Under: Motherhood
  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ KIM HALL

    Wise words we need to print and paste onto our mirror to look at everyday. It is all too easy to value the love just washing over us online above the sometimes dull and tedious of the day-to-dayness of our families. We have to remember that in spite of its alluring beauty, the grass really isn’t greener and the sky isn’t bluer on the web. Where love blooms and needs to be cultivated is in our own backyards.

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Hi Kim! Yes, It can be so much work to cultivate love “in our own backyards” but so very worth the effort! We do need the constant reminder that we are here to serve our families first.

  • http://susanstilwell.com/ SUSAN RINEHART STILWELL

    GOOD STUFF, Kristin! Seriously — something every blogger should read because it can be seriously seductive.

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Thank you Susan. Yes, seductive is a good word for it!

  • http://twitter.com/mbracingrace LEAH@EMBRACINGRACE

    Great reminder!!

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Thank you Leah!

  • http://twitter.com/BritChaudhari BRITTANY CHAUDHARI

    Such a great reminder, Kristen! I think this is one of my fears about really letting myself dig deep into blogging. I’ve seen myself spend way too much time on it and if I’m not careful it becomes extremely hard to balance. Often I find myself running to the side of not doing it all, which is also disobedience if it’s something I feel God has called me to. Like you said, if we put Him first, then everything else falls into place so much easier than when we try to do it all on our own.

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Hi Brittany! Yes, it’s all about seeking God for what He has for each of us individually. It can be paralyzing to fear doing too much. It’s such a peaceful place to be in when you know God’s heart for you as a blogger and trust that plan. Praying that you have all the courage you need to be the light you are called to be. Blessings, Kristin

  • SHARON O

    This is so good no matter what age ‘we are’ we have the potential to put off our loved ones for the ‘instant’ access to the web. I wondered about this too, even though we are older and my husband goes to bed most nights before 9:00 I find myself sitting in front of the screen, typing or reading while enjoying a glass of wine, and he ‘is alone’… in a different part of the house. In saying that I know if I went to bed at 8:30 I would be awake at 2am staring at the ceiling. But…there is a part of ‘this new’ tv/internet lifestyle that does harm to relationships. You make a great point for us all to think about.

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Thank you Sharon. It can be a tricky balance but God is faithful to give us wisdom when we ask for it. Praying for you right now that God gives you wisdom to know how to bless your husband and make him a priority. Blessings to you!

  • http://tuningmyhearttopraise.blogspot.com/ RO ELLIOTT

    Kristin…these are wise and wonderful words here…I am older…just one child left…all the rest gone …some married…but no matter the age we are…sitting at His Feet…is where we need to stay…listening for His whispers and shouts of love…letting Him fill us up…so we don’t need to be filled by other “lovers’…blessings and grace to you~

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Yes, we desperately need to remember to go to His feet often and wait on Him! Blessings, Kristin

  • http://crystalstine.blogspot.com/ CRYSTAL

    Thank you for this wisdom – and so timely for me! Not easy to balance life and blogging but this puts a perspective on it I’ve never considered and one that hits home.

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      You’re welcome Crystal. God convicted my heart of this and that is the only reason I could share. I need to continually check myself on it.

  • http://twitter.com/MandyScarr MANDY SCARR

    Kristin,
    I love this! Thank you for going straight to the heart. This is a message we all need to hear. Thank you!

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      Hi Mandy, Thank you! I can only share it because I have dealt with it. I love that bloggers encourage one another. We need to help hold each other accountable for this issue!

  • ALANA @ THE BLISS DIARIES

    Ouch! I am guilty of pursuing this kind of affair. I need to do a better job of guarding myself against it.

    http://www.domesticblissdiaries.com

    • http://www.purposefulhomemaker.com KRISTIN

      It’s all too easy isn’t it Alana?! Yes, we must guard our hearts by pursuing His.

  • http://twitter.com/sunrisesixpack KARIN MADDEN

    Beautifully said, my friend. Thank you for calling it what it is… if we are not cautious. “Sit at the feet of Jesus” ~ yes!

  • NATASHA METZLER

    So, so good. Thank you, Kristin.

  • JILL MONACO

    This is good for those of us still waiting for the husband and kids!