Focus Archives

limits

Everyone has limits. And it's okay. www.allume.com

We’re wrapping up our theme for the month of March: FOCUS.

For me, this one definitely hits close to home. What about you?

Let’s be honest. The online world is noisy, and I don’t see it getting quieter anytime soon. Don’t get me wrong, some of the noise is good. Really, really good. And some of it is downright ugly. Regardless, we all have a capacity limit, and when that limit is exceeded, it can be almost impossible to maintain focus.

I know … I don’t like being told I have limits either. When someone tells me I can’t do something, there’s a little part of me that just wants to prove them wrong. Of course I can make it work, right? Yeah, maybe not. I’ve learned that one the hard way too many times.

For someone who teeters on the line between introvert and extrovert, being thrown head-on into this world of blogging and social media has threatened to turn me into a hermit. The pressure to be everywhere all at the same time and be awesome at it all is huge, particularly if you’re like me and your business depends on it.

Being online can teach you a lot about yourself if you let it.

I’ve found there’s a direct correlation between how well I manage my online life and how well I am able to stay focused on the things that are most important to me. Everything affects everything else. I can’t do it all. I can’t even do as much as many of the people I see around me. That can be a hard pill to swallow, but at the same time, it’s incredibly freeing.

My heart’s cry for this season of life is for simplicity. I’m still learning what that looks like for me. I talk to Phil a lot about tiny houses, but I know that isn’t the answer. It’s more about understanding my limits and learning to exercise the self-discipline needed to function well within those limits, rather than trying to push the boundaries every second of every day to measure up to what I feel like The Internet expects of me. I’m taking baby steps.

You may have the capacity to be an Instagram Queen. (If you do, I love looking at your amazing photos!) I know I don’t … even the thought of it is just too exhausting … so I’m not going to try to be one.

Sometimes I just delete my Facebook app from my iPhone. It’s incredibly freeing, and the world doesn’t stop. After a while I usually add it back again, until I find myself looking at it too much. Then away it goes.

There are times and seasons. It’s okay to pull back from something to focus on another thing for a while. I’m learning to see when I need to pull away, and it’s amazing the focus that comes when I do.

We all have limits.

And it’s okay.

Accepting that doesn’t make you less valuable. It’s about understanding how God made you. He didn’t mess up. The way you’re wired isn’t some cosmic mistake. We’re all unique and wonderfully made.

You don’t have to be like anyone else. It shouldn’t be a contest. If you feel like it is one, it’s probably time to take a break and re-evaluate.

Just be you. Authenticity is so valuable. We need more of it. We need you.

If you missed any of the Focus-themed posts here at Allume, I encourage you to go back and read them. There’s some great stuff here:

Blessings,

Erin

www.erinulrich.com

The Perfect Blog

By Wendy

There’s a little bit of chaos in my home, there’s a little bit of mess here in my heart, and yet, amidst it all, I find moments to pull away and write on my blog. Closing the door on the voices and the unfinished housework my mind settles down. It’s almost as though the house is clean there on the other side of my work space, dinner is simmering on the stove, fresh flowers adorn the table and the children are all content.

Sometimes that’s true, most often it’s not, except my blog feels like it is.

Perfectly calm and controlled, like an oasis in the midst of real-life. And it should feel that way; I have given focused time and energy to cultivating its peaceful aesthetic.

I love my blog, I’m not going to lie. I love her clean lines and photo-shopped countertops; the color scheme makes me happy and the pictures of my children sparkle with just a little bit of fairy dust. Color-coordinated and lovely.

All in all, I think she’s rather “perfect.”

But here’s the thing: I know this love affair with my perfectly groomed slice of the internet isn’t healthy, or honoring. As a matter of fact, when I wrote out why I blog, having the perfect website never made the cut. And it shouldn’t!

Here are three reasons why “The Perfect Blog” should not ever be our goal!

1) The Perfect Blog is dangerous for our readers.

Perfectly manufactured posts and pins polish us up so much that we lose our mortal edges. Our readers compare themselves to the photo-shopped “reality” of our words and our days. Our blog-speak has the power to lead readers down a fearfully covetous path. No-no-no, perfection is never the goal. Because the allusion of perfection in the Christian life is dangerous.

It’s easy, here in this Pinterest age of perfectly set tables and DIY masterpieces, to forget the One we are blogging for. We set out to point women to Jesus, but somehow in our striving for tweetable quotes and pin-worthy graphics, we’ve accidentally crafted for ourselves an idol.

An idol.

“I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.” (Isaiah 42:8)

Ladies, let’s take a moment to remember what we’re here to do. We blog to make much of Jesus, the only perfection that has ever been or ever will be. We blog in our weakness to glory in His strength. We blog through our mess, to revel in His message. We blog our way through imperfections, grasping for His perfection. And as we do, we have the lowly privilege of pointing others to Him as well, smack dab in the midst of their chaotic, perfectly-flawed, real-life challenges.

2) Only One thing can take first place in our lives.

The word preeminent has been heavy on my heart during the writing of this post. Preeminent means “having first place.” There is not room for two first-loves. If your love affair with your blog comes in first, then Jesus doesn’t. It’s as simple as that.

When we focus the lion’s share of our time and attention on building the perfect site, we’ve little to nothing left over for Jesus. Oh sure, I know we’re doing it all for Him, but let’s bow our heads for an honest moment and take a humble breath. Do we run to His Word with the same faithfulness that we run to communicate our own words? Even if our words are laced with His….

We have carved our piece of cyberspace in the name of God. But here’s the warning: Even authors who build their platform 100% for His glory can get awfully confused in the process. It began all about God, but somewhere between the designing and the uploading and the “about me” page, we tend to forget it’s all “about Him.”

Hang this as a reminder over your heart and over your computer!

3) There is only One perfection.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly… But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6&8)

Powerless, ungodly sinners… Those are the words that describe this ragamuffin lot. And yet we were chosen, dearly loved, and purposed for good works – even good works right here on our blogs! The temptation, however, it to focus so intently on the perfection of those good works (and good words) that we lose sight of the Perfect One we’re blogging for!

I’m not suggesting we blab our way through posts, dragging our shoulders and confessing our sins, nor am I asking you to leave your typos and forego pin-able graphics. I’m simply saying that if we spend our days consumed by this pursuit of excellence, we may in turn become consumed by the striving. So let us cease from striving and simply know that He is God, the Only Perfection that has ever been. Let’s abide there!

And if… If you have not yet taken a moment to focus entirely on His Word today (before running to offer your own or to read mine,) please close your computer down, power-off your phone, forego your “perfect blog” and run to Him.

His Words.

His Perfection.

May all we do and say and write, be an overflow of His perfection!

How To Succeed

By Kris

It’s 4:30 when the alarm goes off. Admittedly, I am a morning person but even at this hour, I groan at the thought of getting up. Most days it’s closer to 5 when I finally roll back the clovers to make my way to the coffee pot, and the couch for time in prayer, and the Word.

This is how most days begin partly because I like it this way, but mostly because I need it this way.

This time in the quiet with God, before the day stacks up around me is what helps me focus. This time of communion with my Maker is what centers me before my looming to-do list has time to knock me sideways.

We live full lives. Most of us (ahem) don’t have a lot of margin in our day. There’s not enough whitespace and in the steady flow of things that need to be addressed, handled, managed, sorted and processed, it’s easy to lose our focus, to get distracted, to forget why we do what we do–and how we ought to do it.

“Commit your work to the Lord”, the Psalmist writes, “and your plans will be established”.

We are all looking for ways to succeed in what we do–this is it, right here; “Commit your work to the Lord.” Turn your work over into His hands. Daily. Hourly, Every minute if you must. Keep your eyes on God, and watch how He leads you.

This is why I try to wake before dawn. The hand off that happens each morning in the quiet between me and Jesus is the only way I can handle all of the tasks I have before me.

I can’t do it in my own strength. I don’t want to. When I fail to work alongside the Lord, when I grab the reigns and work in my own strength and wisdom, I stumble. I run myself ragged and the various plates I’m spinning become unruly and burdensome. When it becomes about my ability to make things happen, things come undone.

I come undone.

Commit your work to the Lord, we’re told. That’s how to find success. He establishes our work for His glory when we surrender it to Him.

Entrust all of your work and ways to God, and watch how He guides the process. Watch How He leads you as you work.

Make time to meet with God as you plan your day. Set your schedule according to His purposes for you. Invite Him to your planning meeting.

How to Untangle Your Brain And Focus

By Morgan

Ever heard the phrase, “Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti?”

According to Bill and Pam Ferrel who published a book on the concept, men think in boxes—like the separate compartments of a waffle. (Ever try to have a deep conversation with your man while the television is on?)

And women? Our minds are usually working on several things at once—like a tangled web of noodles. For most women, everything is interconnected. We are the queens of multitasking. (Betcha you’re doing laundry or taking care of little ones or working on a blog post right now.)

I usually view this ability as a blessing, but not when I’m writing.

My natural bent toward multitasking paired with countless distractions of our hyper-connected world makes focusing difficult. (By the way, remind me to pick up a hostess gift for tonight’s dinner party…)

Also, like many of you, I have more than one passion. I get fired up about writing, but my heart also beats fast when I talk about discipleship. I cry when I think about adoption and have a relentless ache to help teens process grief and loss. I bet your passions are just as varied and equally as strong.

The fact is no one is exclusively a writer. We are wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters. We are homeroom moms, bible study leaders, hardworking executives, half-marathon trainers, cupcake bakers, boo-boo kissers, our husband’s cheerleaders, relentless learners, conference attenders, and so much more…

So how in the world does a passionate, busy woman stay focused?

Give yourself grace.

When I’m unable to focus I quickly feel unproductive and frustrated, which usually prompts me to give myself an angry pep talk about how I need to get my stuff together. Then, I start to wonder if I should be writing in the first place and decide I maybe I should just quit and pick up tennis instead. And that makes me worry if we have the money to pay for tennis lessons, which reminds me I need to pay my AMEX bill… Y’all, it’s exhausting!

I’ve finally learned that beating myself up is counterproductive. Instead, I practice extending myself grace. And I hope you’ll give yourself the same freedom.

Paul, in Ephesians 4:1-2 encourages us, “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which [we] have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.”

We simply cannot love others well through our writing if we do not first extend the same humility, gentleness, patience, and tolerance to ourselves. Let’s start now.

Make lasagna instead of spaghetti.

I’m grateful God gifted us with the ability to multitask, but what if we took steps to organize our “spaghetti brains” a bit?

Recently I downloaded Donald Miller’s Storyline Productivity Schedule. It’s changed everything for me. His method forces me to specifically identify and prioritize three main projects for the day. It’s allowed me to view my day in layers, instead of a tangled web of to-dos. (Lasagna not spaghetti.)

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says there is, “a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens.” It does not say, everything can happen at one time. When it comes to writing, we must determine what activity our time is meant for.

Here’s what I mean: Rather than setting aside generic blocks of time for “writing,” I try to be more specific. I strive to define my time blocks explicitly—time marked for brainstorming, writing, editing, and drafting social media posts. When I’m editing, my social media ideas can wait—only editing is allowed to happen during those 30-45 minute sessions.

Organizing the blogging process into layers helps me narrow my focus, target my energy, and ultimately be more productive. When I wrap up a focused “layer” of writing time, I feel accomplished and energized. I’m ready to move on to the next part of my day. I’m free to be more intentional and present with loved ones at home and colleagues at work.

What tips do you have for untangling your brain in order to focus?

The Very First Step to a Focused Life

By Erika Dawson

Many of us are familiar with the old adage, “Jack of all trades, master of none” because we feel it correctly describes us. We know how to do many things with average ability, but lack the skill to do any one thing unusually well.

Our social lives tend to follow this same trend, though we’d describe it in different terms. With friendships, we aren’t a “Jill of all trades,” instead we lament that our circle of friends stretches a mile wide but only an inch deep.

Concerning our schedules, our calendars are so littered with appointments, activities, and obligations, we’ve become rushed, frazzled, and unable to focus. We are running, shaky and out-of-breath, and we are ready to collapse.

How do we begin to change?

The question is imperative because we can’t continue in this same approach, being rushed along with the current of our culture, allowing life to simply happen to us.

How do we begin to change? How do we begin to live a focused life?

I am asking myself these same questions because how many times have I lamented my overwhelmed schedule and my distraction-led life?

Ever since I was a little girl, my grandfather reminded me of a very simple concept — “Ordinary ability, when focused, excels.”

His wise advice applies to far more than skills and talents. Every time Grandpa shared this wisdom, he spoke to the power of a purposeful, focused life. One that starts, first, with seeking the Lord.

“One thing I have asked of the Lord, that I will seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in His temple” (Psalm 27:4).

Do you want a focused life? A purposeful life? A life that doesn’t settle for ordinary but excels and sparkles with the glory of God? Seek Him first.

Spend time in the Scriptures. Pour out your heart to God in prayer. Listen for His voice, and walk obediently in faith. He will lead you. And as He does, trust Him in the process and the place He’s chosen.

When you are following God’s lead — not what everyone else in the blogging world is doing, not what your best friend is doing, not what the mentor you so admire is doing — when you do what God leads you to do, you will not miss out. You will not get left behind. You don’t have to worry about measuring up or becoming a success.

On those days you’re worried you’ll never “make it” because your role as Mom is more than a full-time job, trust God to be faithful with the few.

Trust HIM to “build your house” — to establish your legacy, protect your reputation, build your ”platform” — while you’re faithful with the few to whom He’s called you.

We can lie down and sleep because it is the LORD who sustains us. Our ambition and success and accolades and social network will not sustain us. The Lord does.

There is rest, not striving, when we are faithful in the places God has called us.

When you’re feeling off-kilter and lopsided, ask yourself:

How is my relationship with the Lord? If I’m not spending time with Him by reading the Bible and praying, I must start here because everything else in my life stems from this. Once I am growing and abiding in Jesus, I move to the next question.
How is my home? What is the state of my relationships with my husband and kids? Am I letting obligations, distractions, or any other pastimes impede my relationships with my family? Am I living distracted, consistently missing opportunities to really see and hear them? Repeatedly sidetracked from the time we can spend together?

Once those two questions are settled, we can pray through our other obligations and priorities. We’re not striving for balance, we’re seeking a rhythm, and that rhythm feels much more fluid when those first two priorities are in order.

As we seek God, He will show us where to focus our time, energy, talents, and treasures. Will we obey?

Will we trust Him in the unseen, unknown, small places? Will we walk obediently — focused on Him? Seeking Him? Trusting Him with the results?

We have the time. We have the resources. We have all that we need to seek the Lord. What’s holding us back?

Asking, seeking, knocking with you,

Erika

erikadawson.com