a simple truth that can transform any relationship

 
Don’t place your trust solely in him. Or her. Or them. Because they — like you and me — are mere humans. And do you know what humans do? We fail.

 

People will fail.

 

I read Jesus’ words last week and they struck a deep chord. He had just started His earthly ministry, performing signs and wonders. And after seeing the miracles, people believed in Him.

“But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.” John 2:24-25

Do you hear what He’s saying? Yes, people put their trust in Him. I mean, He was turning water into top-shelf wine. But He didn’t put His trust in people. Why? Because He “knew all people…(and) knew what was in man.”

Never in the Bible does it say to put our trust in people. Never. Love people, yes. Forgive people, continually. Pray for people, always. But trust? Never. And it’s because people are people. We’re weak and selfish and prone to wander.

When we place our trust in people — depending on them to give us life and hope — we’ll inevitably fall to disappointment. That’s why Jesus didn’t put His trust in man. Not even His most beloved disciples. He put His trust solely in the Father.

His eyes were dead set on the will of the Father. His gaze was continually pointed to the Father. He didn’t look at humans in search of fulfillment with cheesy phrases like “you. complete. me.” No. Because He knew what was in man. And woman.

Personally, I put my hope and trust in men — eventually my husband –in search of security and meaningful love for far too long. And though God gifts us with earthly, blessed, necessary relationships, people can never completely fill us. People will fail us. Just like we’ll fail them.

So when it comes to trust, we’re supposed to put it in one place and one place alone. We put our trust in God.

 

Thus says the Lord:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
and makes flesh his strength,
whose heart turns away from the Lord.
He is like a shrub in the desert,
and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
in an uninhabited salt land.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose trust is the Lord.
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit.
Jeremiah 17:5-8

 

God is the forever faithful One. He’s the One who sees the beginning from the end and knows how to make every detail work out for the good of those who love Him. He’s the One who never ever leaves or forsakes His children. He alone is always trustworthy.

And here’s the beauty. When we put our trust in Him, rather than the people or circumstances in our physical world, it frees us to love others without expectation. It frees us to forgive and bless. Because we’re not depending on people to be our Source of life. We’re depending on the life-giver. And that, my friend, is true freedom.

 
How have you seen that passage from Jeremiah above play out in your own life? (i.e., trusting in things or people vs. trusting in God regardless)

Lara

Speaker and writer, Lara Williams ministers with a passion to see God's Word affecting the moments of our daily lives as children of the King. You can find out more about her at www.LaraWilliams.org or read her blog at www.ToOverflowing.com/about.

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5 ways to cultivate friendships

 
Girlfriend. We weren’t meant to do this life thing alone. We weren’t meant to wear a cape and shout with confidence, “I. need. no. one.” Oh it’s tempting to isolate. It’s tempting to believe the lie that no one else struggles like we struggle or fails like we fail. But that’s not reality. We need community.

 

Sisterhood

 

My dad used to say, “If I have five real, good, loyal friends, then I’m a very wealthy man.” He was right. True friends are priceless.

True friends. The friends that know your weaknesses but love you regardless. The friends that walk with you through dark valleys, even if you put yourself there. The friends that hold you accountable but don’t judge you for your inconsistencies. True friends.

But true friendships don’t just happen when we check the “yes” box on some Will-You-Be-My-Friend survey. Real friendships take time and effort. So here are five things we can do to cultivate real relationships with sister-friends.

Pray for the friendship.

Some of you may not have anyone that you would call a true friend. So it may be that you begin by just asking God to bring a sister-friend into your life. It’s His will that we have community.

Others of us may have someone (or a few someones) that we consider to be a true friend. We can cultivate those friendships by praying for one another.

Send an encouraging word.

I love getting texts from friends that say things like, “I just prayed for you!” Praying for a friend often leaves us with an encouraging word to share. Telling them could be what lifts their spirit today.

Make time for the friendship.

This is where I can fail as a friend. Life gets busy and before I know it weeks have passed since I’ve spent any quality time with certain friends. We have to make time to get together or even just talk on the phone. Because if we don’t spend time together, the friendship won’t deepen.

Be real.

We all struggle. And most of us struggle with the same basic things. When we open ourselves up and become vulnerable with a friend, it encourages them to be vulnerable. And that’s when friendships deepen. So the challenge? Be authentic. Let someone in. Let someone see our heart.

Study God’s Word together.

One way to spur on authenticity is to study the Word together. God’s Word is meant to encourage us as well as reveal places that need His touch. Studying His Word with a friend can lead us into honest conversation and heart transformation.

We need true friendships. And they don’t just happen. You and I can do something today to help cultivate a relationship with that sister-friend.

So tell me, how else do you cultivate friendships?
 

Lara

Speaker and writer, Lara Williams ministers with a passion to see God's Word affecting the moments of our daily lives as children of the King. You can find out more about her at www.LaraWilliams.org or read her blog at www.ToOverflowing.com/about.

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because the milk will probably spill

Yes. The milk will spill. And it will probably be chocolate. And it will probably spill on the floor you just mopped for the first time all month.

Not only that, the kids will run through the house with muddy boots. The dog will eat your still-warm, from-scratch cookies off the counter. The toilet will overflow because someone tried to flush a Lego creation. And the computer will crash just before you save that 800-word blog post — the one in which you poured out your heart with deep vulnerability.

I’m just here to encourage you.

 

The milk will probably spill.

 

Seriously, though. These are the things that can get to me. In fact, it’s often the little daily annoyances that bring out the me that I can’t stand. The one that I hope no one else sees or hears or remembers. Because she can be jacked. up.

So in recent years I’ve asked for wisdom for those kinds of moments. Because they’re gonna happen. And I really don’t want to hurt anyone. Literally.

The only solution that seems to work sounds so churchy. But it really helps me keep perspective, especially when the container of 5000 plastic beads gets poured across the kitchen and you’re still stepping on them eight days later.

 

Pause. Breathe. Pray.

 

I told you it sounded churchy. But it’s just true. The spilled milk won’t matter in ten years, but the hearts of those who spill it will. When I pause, breathe, and pray, it changes my perspective.

I may say something profound like, “Lord. God. Help me not hurt someone.” Or I may go deeper, “Father, it’s just milk. Give me your perspective. I want to reflect You and Your grace, even now. Show me what to do.”

God loves it when we simply turn to Him. He’s knows we’re dust. He knows we’re going to lose it at times. He remembers our humanity. And He just loves it when we turn to Him.

We won’t do it perfectly. We’ll still totally overreact at times — especially during heightened hormonal seasons. Can I get a witness? But even when we completely fail, He’s still grace. He still lavishes grace.

So if…when…the chocolate milk spills today, I’m asking Him to remind us to pause, breathe, and pray. We’re such a needy people.
 

What do you do to keep perspective when those daily annoyances arise?
 

Looking forward,
Lara
ToOverflowing.com

 

Lara

Speaker and writer, Lara Williams ministers with a passion to see God's Word affecting the moments of our daily lives as children of the King. You can find out more about her at www.LaraWilliams.org or read her blog at www.ToOverflowing.com/about.

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