focus Archives

Ever heard the phrase, “Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti?”

According to Bill and Pam Ferrel who published a book on the concept, men think in boxes—like the separate compartments of a waffle. (Ever try to have a deep conversation with your man while the television is on?)

And women? Our minds are usually working on several things at once—like a tangled web of noodles. For most women, everything is interconnected. We are the queens of multitasking. (Betcha you’re doing laundry or taking care of little ones or working on a blog post right now.)

I usually view this ability as a blessing, but not when I’m writing.

My natural bent toward multitasking paired with countless distractions of our hyper-connected world makes focusing difficult. (By the way, remind me to pick up a hostess gift for tonight’s dinner party…)

Also, like many of you, I have more than one passion. I get fired up about writing, but my heart also beats fast when I talk about discipleship. I cry when I think about adoption and have a relentless ache to help teens process grief and loss. I bet your passions are just as varied and equally as strong.

The fact is no one is exclusively a writer. We are wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters. We are homeroom moms, bible study leaders, hardworking executives, half-marathon trainers, cupcake bakers, boo-boo kissers, our husband’s cheerleaders, relentless learners, conference attenders, and so much more…

So how in the world does a passionate, busy woman stay focused?

Give yourself grace.

When I’m unable to focus I quickly feel unproductive and frustrated, which usually prompts me to give myself an angry pep talk about how I need to get my stuff together. Then, I start to wonder if I should be writing in the first place and decide I maybe I should just quit and pick up tennis instead. And that makes me worry if we have the money to pay for tennis lessons, which reminds me I need to pay my AMEX bill… Y’all, it’s exhausting!

I’ve finally learned that beating myself up is counterproductive. Instead, I practice extending myself grace. And I hope you’ll give yourself the same freedom.

Paul, in Ephesians 4:1-2 encourages us, “to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which [we] have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love.”

We simply cannot love others well through our writing if we do not first extend the same humility, gentleness, patience, and tolerance to ourselves. Let’s start now.

Make lasagna instead of spaghetti.

I’m grateful God gifted us with the ability to multitask, but what if we took steps to organize our “spaghetti brains” a bit?

Recently I downloaded Donald Miller’s Storyline Productivity Schedule. It’s changed everything for me. His method forces me to specifically identify and prioritize three main projects for the day. It’s allowed me to view my day in layers, instead of a tangled web of to-dos. (Lasagna not spaghetti.)

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says there is, “a time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens.” It does not say, everything can happen at one time. When it comes to writing, we must determine what activity our time is meant for.

Here’s what I mean: Rather than setting aside generic blocks of time for “writing,” I try to be more specific. I strive to define my time blocks explicitly—time marked for brainstorming, writing, editing, and drafting social media posts. When I’m editing, my social media ideas can wait—only editing is allowed to happen during those 30-45 minute sessions.

Organizing the blogging process into layers helps me narrow my focus, target my energy, and ultimately be more productive. When I wrap up a focused “layer” of writing time, I feel accomplished and energized. I’m ready to move on to the next part of my day. I’m free to be more intentional and present with loved ones at home and colleagues at work.

What tips do you have for untangling your brain in order to focus?

I teach in a building next to the School of Music. So it’s not uncommon for college students to practice their instruments in the adjoining courtyard. On any given day, multiple melodies fill the atmosphere. But in the early morning, when I’m arriving for work, I hear the sounds of a lone clarinet drifting through the hallway.

I pause to listen.

At first, the notes are scales — ascending and descending. Soon, the notes transform into familiar refrains by Beethoven and Bach. Eventually, the young clarinet player abandons the notes on the page and begins to improvise. He creates an aural art, a cadence pregnant with mystery, uncertain of where it will lead.

The clarinet player in the courtyard has no idea how much a writing professor down the hall enjoys his musical gift.

I wonder how many bloggers can relate to this clarinet player.

As bloggers, we sometimes wonder:

Is anyone even listening?
Is all this blogging worth the effort?
Does my presence online make any difference?
Am I just another voice in a cacophony of noise?

When we ask ourselves these questions, we open ourselves to self-doubt and become susceptible to false ideals about blogging. We start to listen to other voices — voices that talk about numbers.

Subscribers. Visitors. Page views. Comments. Likes. Shares. There’s a statistic for everything.

In a sincere effort to increase readership, it’s not uncommon for bloggers to start chasing these numbers. A blogger begins, writing from the heart, and she finds a small but receptive audience who appreciates her work. Then she reads advice online — a prescribed methodology for blogging success. As she emulates these “best practices,” she becomes a clone of other bloggers. What made her unique in the first place has dissipated.

The fastest way for a blogger to lose her focus is to focus on numbers. {Share on Twitter}

That’s not to say all numbers are bad. The information we glean from statistics can be helpful. A well-frequented post can tell us what strikes a resounding chord with readers. A weekly tracking of page views might reveal which days of the week are more likely to receive visits. Such data can inform our strategies and guide our blogging decisions.

Bloggers are wise, however, to view their statistics with discernment. Because numbers abide by the law of diminishing returns. Once we’ve achieved a numeric goal, we simply up the ante with another number. This never-ending chase perpetuates a cycle that saps a blogger’s creativity, resulting in a spiritless body of work.

We must decide ahead of time what kind of blogger we want to become and what kind of reader we want to reach.

Yes, the allure of bigger numbers is an ever-present reality. Our society revolves around numbers because we’re conditioned to believe that numbers translate into happiness or beauty or success. We’re told bigger statistics will provide access to better opportunities. Which may or may not be true.

But I do know one thing that is true:

Numbers neither define me nor fulfill me.
Numbers neither determine my worth nor control my fate.

Whether we have many readers or few, we overcome the seduction of numbers when we’ve already settled within ourselves a sense of purpose.

When we know our purpose as artists, we retain our focus as bloggers. {Share on Twitter}

I want to blog with the same focus as the clarinet player. He’s committed to developing his craft, and he’s not following the noisy crowd. Nor is he playing louder in an attempt to be heard. In fact, he doesn’t seem concerned with being noticed for his talent. He’s found his own space, and he creates music because that’s what he does. It’s inside him. He may have dreams of playing in an orchestra someday, but whether that dream ever comes true or not, he’s a musician.

And a true musician will continue to play his instrument for the simple love of music.

How to Untangle Your Brain And Focus

Give yourself grace.

Make lasagna instead of spaghetti.

How to Blog with Focus

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