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Are You coming to Allume With an Agenda?

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We were walking out of the hotel early Sunday morning, October 25th, 2014, catching the crack-of-dawn shuttle back to the airport. A rag-tag group of writers who had all come to Allume with an agenda: We planned to build our platforms, build connections, build our individual brand. But leaving together at the end of the weekend, 18 women crammed into one small bus, it was obvious that God was more concerned about building our faith, building relationships, building up hearts.

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Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have an agenda, as long as we come to each new day and opportunity remembering who’s plan always prevails… if we’re soft enough to yield.

Last year I was a newbie, a first timer, an Allume virgin, so to speak. I flew into South Carolina knowing one whole person there. Still, I had it all planned out – how I’d bring my beautiful business cards and tantalize people with my dynamic personality and conversation, I’d meet with agents and publishers, take copious notes, and leave with knowledge and connections that would benefit me in the future. That last line really sums it up.

(gag)

I hope you don’t all hate me for being honest up front. I’m just taking a risk and painting this picture incase some of you are prone to the same first time hopes and dreams. And like I said, they’re not all bad… as long as we’re quick to bend in the direction God has planned for us to go. Yielding to His push, His pulse, His prodding.

When I first arrived at the hotel last year, the Lord immediately started orchestrating His plan for me. I settled into my hotel room, slipped into my first fun outfit, grabbed my first cute handbag, and rummaged through my things to make sure I had everything I needed to achieve my agenda. Only… where was my little orange business card case that perfectly matched my branding? NOT THERE – That’s where! And the only cards I had, were half a dozen rumpled ones stuffed in the backside of my wallet.

Deep sigh.

My roommate promised me that very few people even bring business cards and fewer still hand them out, and told me to just hold onto them if I ended up meeting with any agents or publishers. So I shoved them back into my wallet, and walked out of that hotel room telling the Lord that I was open to whatever He had planned for me.

The elevators announced the ground floor with a loud and happy “Ding” and the doors opened. Right off, I recognized a woman that I had connected with online and cautiously walked toward her group. I introduced myself to them and was astounded by the immediate welcome of so many like-minded women. There in that very moment I started relationships with Jacque Watkins, Brooke McGlothlin, Stacey Thacker, Heather MacFadyen, Diane Bailey and Wynter Evans Pitts. Enveloped in the instant familiarity and open-armed welcome of community, my agenda fell limp and purposeless to the ground – and I knew that God had something bigger and better in store for me than I had planned.

On the last night of our time together, God was kind enough to speak directly to my heart through our keynote speaker, Sophie Hudson. She had us laughing from the start, but then suddenly leaned into the microphone and started talking about relationships. This is what she said:

“We have got to choose building relationships over building anything else.”

I knew her words were God’s Word for me, for I had bought my ticket to Allume that year, thinking that I was going to learn how to build my blog. But God wanted me to catch the vision of building something even better… relationships. Sophie encouraged us to be a safe place for one another. She challenged us, “What you’ve been called to, does not diminish what the Lord has called me to.” And then she told the familiar story of Mary, the mother Jesus, arriving at her cousin Elizabeth’s home.

Sophie reminded us that Elizabeth was carrying an honest to goodness miracle inside of her! (And aren’t we all? Full of miracle stories, miracle families, miracle dreams, miracle callings?) Yet still, when Elizabeth saw young Mary, the child in her womb leapt, and she knew instantly that she was hugging another of God’s miracles! In that moment she wasn’t thinking about herself at all!

Elizabeth made no attempt to promote herself, steal the thunder, or show off her own miracle. Instead she announced in a loud voice: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” (Luke 1:42-45)

I was seated in the very back of the room that night. As Sophie closed her message and the worship team took the stage I looked around the enormous dinning room and felt compelled to lift my hands. I prayed God’s blessing on each and every woman there. Then I thanked the Holy Spirit for gently shifting my gaze from my own agenda to His agenda, and then on from there to the plans He has for others around me.

This year as I prepare for Allume, I am praying the words that I had scribbled at the bottom of my note taking page that last night:

Dear Lord, Give me the eyes to see who I might encourage, support, and promote, rather than being on the lookout for others who might encourage, support, and promote me!”

 

Blessings,

Wendy

 

Becoming Friends with Compassion

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The length of the hallway leading to the conference room is lined with banners, books, and booths. Both sides of the narrow corridor form a living-breathing mural of ministries. They lean over their tables, clasp our hands, and invite us into friendship.

Friendship with the world.

They come to Allume en masss in order to share with us what God is doing – where He is at work throughout the world, doling out His justice, mercy, and compassion. Ministries travel to South Carolina each year in order to educate and invite us to partner with them.

 

Allume Sponsor Hall 2013View More: http://kimdeloachphoto.pass.us/allume2014sponsors-2sponsors

she-reads-truth

We are today’s online influencers, and these ministries recognize the power of our words and ask us to spend some of them generously to advocate for others. It was at Allume where I learned what a good friend I can be to people half a world away. Here in this digital age we have the ability to reach beyond our real life friends, even beyond the ones we minister to directly online, and touch the lives of families on the underbelly of this globe.

Sole Hope and their care for children in Uganda… The Seed Company‘s mad pursuit of Bible Translation… Preemptive Love and the way heart surgeons can get to the hearts of everyone in foreign communities… Compassion International‘s international compassion for hurting, malnourished families… Vi Bella‘s heart for women in impoverished communities in Haiti and Mexico… So many ministries reaching out over their tables, that we might be inspired to reach out through our blogs.

AllumeBlog2Ornaments-for-OrphansIMG_0168Blood Water Mission 3preemptive 2

Bloggers move up and down the center of the hallway, greeting one another with hugs and exclamations. Women who have come to know each other online, finally meeting face to face. Friendship. And hemming them in together, is a friendship deeper still – a friendship with God’s heart for the world.

After a month of posts here at Allume, reminding us that we were made for iron-sharpening-iron relationships, we invite you into a friendship greater, wider, deeper than any of us imagined. Befriending compassion because we are friends with a compassionate God. Befriending mercy because we have been treated mercifully morning by morning. Befriending those in need, because we’ve tasted need in our own blessed, needy circumstances.

We have all sung the words “What a friend we have in Jesus…” and so we respond in the chorus of our lives, so that all may know the friendship of God.

View More: http://kimdeloachphoto.pass.us/allume2014

 

Let your light (your friendship light) so shine before men,

that they may see your good works, and glorify

your father in Heaven. (Matthew 5:16)

 

At Allume we receive the invitation into this different sort of friendship – an others-centric friendship that shines like light out into a dark and hurting world. Shining from the words we write, the children we advocate for, the link in a blog post, or a button on our sidebar.

Friendship.

I am eager to meet you in the girdle of this long corridor. Grab my hand and introduce yourself. Let’s spend some time together getting to know one another as we get to know what God is doing throughout the world.

Friendship. 

Authentically Creative

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It was just upstairs from the bar, this swank little super-club on Hollywood Blvd.  I would pick up shifts when I needed to make some cash, and this month I hadn’t booked any acting or writing jobs and rent was coming up.  Black slacks, white button down dress shirt, black tie and a red fitted vest. I looked like a monkey, but I could play the part.

The night was young and the piano man was just waking up the keys.  First tables were filling up and I would get the next one seated.  I heard them coming up the stairs long before they reached the floor.  Tourists. I guessed it before they were even seated in my booth by the window, overlooking the boulevard.

“Are you an actress?” Asked the lady with blond curls in her sweet midwestern drawl?  “I bet you’re an actress.  Have I seen you in anything?” Her husband laughed like we were enjoying an inside joke together, but I didn’t find it funny.

“Can I start you with something to drink?  Jimmy is famous for his peach martini.” They laughed again, like it was another joke. So I told them I’d give them a few moments and come back with some waters for the table.

“Oh no, don’t go!” Said the man with the eyes still dancing. “It’s just that all our waitresses on this trip have been actresses and you’re the prettiest one so far so it’s got to be true.  You’re an actress too aren’t you?”

I wanted to tell them the whole list of roles I’d played in the past years, but there I was in my uniform taking a drink order and just wanted to disappear into one of Jimmy’s martinis.  “You guessed it, I’m an actress.” I said it with a smile, and the two of them erupted into applause like they had just won a bet and were going to split the pot!

When I came back with their drinks they leaned in soberly and asked me this memorable question, “How long are you going to give it?”

I wish I could go back right now and watch myself closely; see the look on my face, hear the tense lilt in my voice.  “How long am I going to give what?  Being an actress?” They nodded expectantly. “Well, you see, I believe that God made me an actress, it’s part of who I am.  So you are basically asking me how long I’m going to give myself the opportunity to be myself before I embark on the grand adventure of being someone else.”

 

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Of course, my answer wasn’t really fair, I knew what they meant, still I needed to reaffirm who I was to my own ears and heart.

Maybe you need to do the same thing some days.  Maybe your friends ask you about your hobby-blogging; your mom doesn’t understand this drive to do something other than just mother, since she was happy simply raising you; or perhaps your husband is questioning the cost of your domain name and website and plane ticket to Allume, asking if you’re making any money yet on that Etsy shop. And it all feels like pressure – because maybe it is time to quit.

How long are you going to give it?

My face is hot as I type the question out, because I’m sort of passionate about how God made you; fearfully… wonderfully… creatively. And I don’t want you to doubt for one moment His joy over your design!  I don’t want you to question His delight in your unique dreams, as you balance so many things, every facet for His glory. He is near, enjoying how He made you.

That doesn’t mean that your dreams won’t change. Go with the flow. I’m not in Hollywood anymore. But the story-telling part of me is still alive.

So how long are you going to give yourself, to be yourself?

Here’s my advice: Don’t ever stop!

Is it possible that your dreams may end up looking a little different than you penned them in your journal?  Is it possible that God’s guiding Spirit takes you down some varied path? Is it possible God prepared many small good works for you, rather than big ones? Is it possible that He’s not finished with you yet? Absolutely. Time and again, Yes! So don’t you stop!  You keep pressing in to Him and pressing on where His Holy faithful Spirit directs.

This month we’re talking about being Authentic here at Allume.  This post is my clenched fist, shaking at every nay-sayer on your behalf. Those literal voices of family and friends and strangers… and the stealth heated whisper of the devil himself.  Listen to me.  Listen to me, not them, I’ve got the word for you today:

Press in and press on, my friends!

Write it out, sing it loud, say it in the syncopated rhythm of a spoken word poem, paint it, create it, lay it down and live it out in a one woman show at your next women’s ministry event. Press on in the little moments of your mothering, married, ministry loving loving days, when there is room to create. And in this way, follow the call to be authentically true to who you are.

His Creative.

Do You Want to Know What Literary Agents and Publishers Really Think About You?

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The moment everything changed for me as an actress didn’t happen in front of a camera and it didn’t take place in an acting class.  I had walked three miles from my tiny apartment in North Hollywood to Ventura Blvd. for a Jamba Juice.  The day was hot, even for the valley, and I’d worked up a healthy sweat by the time I pulled open the front door and let the air-conditioned room carry my body temperature down a few degrees.

Standing in line to order my fresh squeezed juice I realized that the woman in front of me was a casting director I had auditioned for multiple times.  She ordered a shot of wheat grass and a dark green smoothie, paid, and found a seat outside under an umbrella.  I placed my own order and waited inside for my name to be called.  As I waited I wondered if I should say hello.  Should I invite her to the play I was currently in? Would it be uncomfortable if she said no?  Or worse…  what if she didn’t remember me at all?

Our names were called at the same time and we met there at the juice bar, linking eyes for just a moment.  “I know you, don’t I?” Her New York accent was aimed at me. I smiled and reminded her of my name and who my agent was.  She remembered.  “Come sit with me.”  It was more of a command than a request, and all 23 years of me followed.

I realized almost immediately that she was simply looking for conversation, so we talked about the weather and how nice it had been over the weekend.  We’d both been to Venice Beach the day before and saw the same man walking around in a yellow thong speedo. She used the term banana hammock and I spit some carrot juice out with a laugh. After throwing her shot of wheatgrass back she reached into her handbag for a cigarette.

Taking a deep drag she eyed me then, up and down, and asked me pointedly, “Do you know what casting directors think when you walk into the room for an audition?”

“No.”

She laughed then, harder than she’d laughed over the man in the yellow speedo.  “We want you to be it!” She practically yelled.

“I don’t understand.”

“No, most of you people don’t.  Most people go into an interview, an audition, thinking they’re about to be judged, chewed up and rejected.  So they come in cautious and careful.  What I’m saying is that casting directors and agents… we want you to be brilliant!  We pray to God, “Please, let this one be it!” Do you have any idea how much easier our job would be if you came into our office and blew us over? We are rooting for you!”

Her volume rose with each syllable, then crescendoed on that last resounding phrase.  “We are rooting for you!” I couldn’t help but believe her.

She stood then, and brashly said good-bye.

I booked the next audition I went on, and the next, and the next.  Only one thing had changed: I walked in believing that the person who called my name and sat back on the other side of the desk critiquing my performance, desperately wanted me to be brilliant.  So I gave them every ounce of brilliant I had and smiled with confidence, knowing that I had brought my best.  And the remarkable thing was… my best was good enough!

It’s been 15 years since I walked those three miles back to my apartment a changed actress.  And today I’m working to apply the same lesson to my life in the creative realm of Christian ministry.

 

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Today, when I reach out to women’s ministry directors about speaking at their spring luncheon, I do so knowing that I have something to offer that will make their job easier.  I’m not nervous or anxious, because I know that they want the right person for the job! And when I meet with literary agents and publishers about a book proposal that holds chunks of my soul on paper-thin matter, I walk into the room with my chin up and eyes eager to engage.  There is no shame, there is no fear, because I believe that those agents and publishers and women’s ministry directors and acquisition editors want me to be it!  They want me to make their job easier!

And they want the same from you!

Yeah, that’s it.  You want to know what literary agents and publishers really think about you when you walk into the room?  They are hoping beyond hope that you’ve got just what they need!

“They are rooting for you!”

And if, perhaps, the answer is no, over and over again no… that just means you haven’t come face to face with the right publisher or agent who needs what you have to offer. So keep working it out, refining the message, and believing that they are rooting for you.  And so am I!

Wendy Speake

Allume: It’s where My People are

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Home is where my people are, there is no doubt about it.

We’ve journeyed through the pages of Sophie Hudson’s engaging new memoir, Home is Where My People Are, and met her people there.  In so doing, I’ve been inspired to truly grab hold of my own – both those who live in memories, down streets I don’t live on anymore, and those held within the confines of our literal home today.

And yet, here in the final pages of the book, I am reminded that I can be in the midst of all my people and still grow a little lonely. Not all of me, lonely, just a part of me, but a central part.  That place inside a creative woman of faith who thinks deeply and attempts to write it down, that’s the place inside that longs sometimes for fellowship.  Like a sensitive artist sitting on her stool in the core chamber of her own heart – she needs people too.

 

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I went to Allume last fall knowing one woman. I guess you could say that instead of having “people” I just had a person.  Kelli was my person. Instead of a tribe, I had a kemosabe. However, something noteworthy about the Lone Ranger is that he really wasn’t so all alone with Tonto by his side.

Seated around the bonfire we call Allume I began to meet new people, women who shared my vision, who carried a similar fire in their bones and a passion to communicate those flaming tongues to others.  From all around North America they came, one by one, carrying stools of their own to sit upon, as we gathered together, drawing close in community.

At the end of the conference we picked them up again, each woman going her own way.  I left the hotel knowing that I now had people, not just a person, that I knew I’d see again online.  But a part of me was sore at the thought of not fellowshipping together with flesh on.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Face to face and up close.

As providence had planned, I found myself seated on the plane next to an Allume attendee I hadn’t met in the previous days.  Discovering that we lived an hour and a half apart, we exchanged social media handles and purposed to keep in touch.  Jaimie also shared with me a list of other ladies who live in Southern California, not far from us. I scribbled down their names too.

Six months later I did something daring – I reached out to 8 relatively local bloggers (all allume alums) and suggested we gather together to encourage one another.

Encourage. Even now as I type the word I see its root – Courage.  It takes courage to invite new people into our lives.  What if they say no?  What if they realize how small my platform is?  What if they affirm my inner dialogue that I don’t quite belong here?

Oh, but I didn’t give in to the lies. No, instead, I befriended them all on facebook and sent a group message saying, basically, “Let’s get together.”  Wouldn’t you know it, they responded with a resounding, “Yes, let’s!”

And now, after one amazing afternoon walking through gardens, sitting in the shade of a weeping willow, and enjoying afternoon tea together (until the maitre’d firmly told us, one last time, that the place was closed) they are something quite special to me.  They are My People.

 

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Becky Keife, Laurir Wallin, Caryn Christensen, Jacque Watkins, Denise Hughes and, not quite so all-alone, me.

If you have been on the fence about joining us at Allume this fall, let this testimony call you warmly in.  You are welcome here. There is room for you amongst these people.  There is room for your voice online.  There is room for your stool at the fire this coming October.

Join us!

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Home is Where My People Are

 

The Perfect Blog

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There’s a little bit of chaos in my home, there’s a little bit of mess here in my heart, and yet, amidst it all, I find moments to pull away and write on my blog.  Closing the door on the voices and the unfinished housework my mind settles down. It’s almost as though the house is clean there on the other side of my work space, dinner is simmering on the stove, fresh flowers adorn the table and the children are all content.

Sometimes that’s true, most often it’s not, except my blog feels like it is.

Perfectly calm and controlled, like an oasis in the midst of real-life. And it should feel that way; I have given focused time and energy to cultivating its peaceful aesthetic.

I love my blog, I’m not going to lie. I love her clean lines and photo-shopped countertops; the color scheme makes me happy and the pictures of my children sparkle with just a little bit of fairy dust. Color-coordinated and lovely.

All in all, I think she’s rather “perfect.”

But here’s the thing: I know this love affair with my perfectly groomed slice of the internet isn’t healthy, or honoring.  As a matter of fact, when I wrote out why I blog, having the perfect website never made the cut.  And it shouldn’t!

allume graphic - perfect blog

Here are three reasons why “The Perfect Blog” should not ever be our goal!

1) The Perfect Blog is dangerous for our readers.

Perfectly manufactured posts and pins polish us up so much that we lose our mortal edges. Our readers compare themselves to the photo-shopped “reality” of our words and our days. Our blog-speak has the power to lead readers down a fearfully covetous path. No-no-no, perfection is never the goal. Because the allusion of perfection in the Christian life is dangerous.

It’s easy, here in this Pinterest age of perfectly set tables and DIY masterpieces, to forget the One we are blogging for. We set out to point women to Jesus, but somehow in our striving for tweetable quotes and pin-worthy graphics, we’ve accidentally crafted for ourselves an idol.

An idol.

“I am the LORD; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols.” (Isaiah 42:8)

Ladies, let’s take a moment to remember what we’re here to do.  We blog to make much of Jesus, the only perfection that has ever been or ever will be. We blog in our weakness to glory in His strength. We blog through our mess, to revel in His message. We blog our way through imperfections, grasping for His perfection. And as we do, we have the lowly privilege of pointing others to Him as well, smack dab in the midst of their chaotic, perfectly-flawed, real-life challenges.

2) Only One thing can take first place in our lives.

The word preeminent has been heavy on my heart during the writing of this post. Preeminent means “having first place.” There is not room for two first-loves. If your love affair with your blog comes in first, then Jesus doesn’t. It’s as simple as that.

When we focus the lion’s share of our time and attention on building the perfect site, we’ve little to nothing left over for Jesus.  Oh sure, I know we’re doing it all for Him, but let’s bow our heads for an honest moment and take a humble breath.  Do we run to His Word with the same faithfulness that we run to communicate our own words?  Even if our words are laced with His….

We have carved our piece of cyberspace in the name of God.  But here’s the warning: Even authors who build their platform 100% for His glory can get awfully confused in the process.  It began all about God, but somewhere between the designing and the uploading and the “about me” page, we tend to forget it’s all “about Him.”

 Hang this as a reminder over your heart and over your computer!

all about Him

3) There is only One perfection.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly… But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:6&8)

Powerless, ungodly sinners…  Those are the words that describe this ragamuffin lot.  And yet we were chosen, dearly loved, and purposed for good works – even good works right here on our blogs!  The temptation, however, it to focus so intently on the perfection of those good works (and good words)  that we lose sight of the Perfect One we’re blogging for!

I’m not suggesting we blab our way through posts, dragging our shoulders and confessing our sins, nor am I asking you to leave your typos and forego pin-able graphics.  I’m simply saying that if we spend our days consumed by this pursuit of excellence, we may in turn become consumed by the striving.  So let us cease from striving and simply know that He is God, the Only Perfection that has ever been.  Let’s abide there!

And if… If you have not yet taken a moment to focus entirely on His Word today (before running to offer your own or to read mine,) please close your computer down, power-off your phone, forego your “perfect blog” and run to Him.

His Words.

His Perfection.

May all we do and say and write, be an overflow of His perfection!

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