This is how a conversation with Connie (not her real name), a friend who is also a mentor, began:
ME: I can’t meet tomorrow at 1:00. My husband called and said tomorrow we need to meet with the accountant. Can we move our meeting to another day?
Connie: Tomorrow is Tuesday; our meeting is on Wednesday at 1:00.
Me: Oh…okay then, I’ll see you Wednesday, the day after tomorrow, at 1:00 (blush)
Connie: Try slowing down and laughing a little! You’re doing a great job with all that is on your plate right now! Love you! See you Wednesday!
Sometimes, I feel like an order of hash browns from Waffle House – scattered, smothered, and fried!
Life seems to move faster and faster. There are so many wonderful opportunities for us and for our families. We want to experience all life has to give. But what if trying to do all things means you lose your focus and miss your goals.
The odds are that you will lose your joy if you continue to add everything without discretion regarding your schedule.
No Limits = No Focus = No Joy
Joy is the one thing we don’t want missing from our day. Giving ourselves time to slow-down and focus on the priorities first helps to keep our joy for life from slipping through our busy fingers.
Some days move at the speed of light, long before our first cup of java. We are zooming into shoes, grabbing Toaster Strudels for everyone and jumping in the car as the first beam of light makes its way over the horizon.
When I was a pre-teen, my dad had a string of prisms hanging from a tree outside our kitchen window. Sometimes, in the late afternoon, as mom was cooking supper, I would sit and wait for the afternoon light to engage with the prisms. When it did, small circles of rainbows would dance across the kitchen ceiling.
It was a Kaleidoscope of color that would have thrilled even Claude Monet. As I watched their beauty, I found my whole body relaxing for a few minutes. Homework, chores, being popular at school and whether or not I made cheerleading all vanished away. For just a few minutes I could focus on the beauty in the world around me.
“You know why light is so beautiful though the prism, don’t you?” my dad asks me one day.
“Because, when the light engages with the prism, the light slows down and you can see its true beauty.”
This is what a mentor does. She is a friend who walks beside you. One whose life experiences are just a little further down the road than yours. She encourages you and helps you see the beauty in you. She is a friend who prays with you and for you. Sometimes, she tells you the truth that only someone who is close and loves you can say. She helps you to slow down, and focus not just on the busy but also on the beauty that brings joy.
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20
Is there a mentor in your life? If not, what would you look for in a mentor? What is a question you would want to ask a mentor?
In the vine,
Diane W. Bailey
ThandiweW says
March 9, 2015 at 10:22 amHallelujah and amen. I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that if you don’t slow down, God will still you, and not always gently. I am learning, Diane, and grateful that you can be among my teachers. Amen and amen.
Forever chasing Grace and Peace,
Chelle
Dianewbailey says
March 9, 2015 at 3:23 pmI love you Chelle …I mean ThandiweW. You are a blessing in my life!
Wendy Speake says
March 9, 2015 at 12:42 pmNo Limits = No Focus = No Joy
Goodness, this is so good. Thanks for walking this road before us and encouraging us. I’m convinced that your availability to the younger allume gals will mean a generation of Titus 2’s just around the corner! Bring it!
Dianewbailey says
March 9, 2015 at 3:22 pmWendy, you and I hit it off right away at Allume. It was a God size introduction. I hope to see you there again this year!
Martha Brady says
March 9, 2015 at 3:07 pmwhen i mentor women, that is often what i see my role as…an encourager. someone who sees what they don’t see in themselves…the positive, the good, the work GOD has done in them that they don’t see. i love doing it:)
Dianewbailey says
March 9, 2015 at 3:21 pmMartha, I know you are a great blessing to all those who are walking with you. You are a wonderful encourager and I know they treasure you.
Debra S says
March 9, 2015 at 3:42 pmNo I do not have an in person mentor, but if I did, my question would be: help me push past the fear of doing things beyond my house, alone. I do not like to reach out because I feel embarrassed. Yet I am an outgoing person.
Diane Bailey says
April 15, 2015 at 9:59 pmDebra, I have prayed for God to give you His strength and His counsel to encourage you. You are His gift to those around you.
Jody Ohlsen Collins says
March 9, 2015 at 4:32 pmDiane, you know how when you think something then you read it in print and you go, ‘yes! that’s what I mean.’??? “No limits, no focus, no joy” is the mantra…and the way you put it into words really resonates….
Diane Bailey says
April 15, 2015 at 10:00 pmJody, that happens to me in church frequently. You know it is God speaking life and love into your life. I’m so glad he used this post to love on you!
Power of Modesty says
March 10, 2015 at 10:00 amwow. i love that analogy. and isn’t true!
Diane Bailey says
April 15, 2015 at 10:00 pmThank you Teresa! <3
Dawn says
March 12, 2015 at 7:49 amBeautiful thoughts on light and connecting it to leading. I have had several people in my life through the years who would fit the mentor qualification: gracious, loving, wise, (or willing to admit they need to seek the answers with you). They come and go as the tides and seasons of life flow in our lives, yet leave a lasting impression. One of the most significant qualities, I find necessary, is the depth of prayer a mentor must be willing to provide. This quality is for both themself and those they lead.
Your post made me remember some of the beauties in my life. 😉
Blessings,
Dawn
Diane Bailey says
April 15, 2015 at 10:03 pmDawn doesn’t God have a sweet way of loving on us when we don’t expect it? I’m glad you are seeing the beauties in your life. Isn’t that such a wonderful gift that continues to give as you share with other? Thank you for stopping by.
Monica Snyder says
March 18, 2015 at 3:47 pmDiane, this is lovely. I have had intentional mentors in other areas of my life before (when I worked in marketing and real estate) and have been praying about being brave enough to ask someone to come along side me in my writing now. I had the unique opportunity to mentor a young lady who is ten years younger than me. It began more than seven years ago. She was in the thick of an eating disorder, cutting, a suicide attempt and lots of God and church issues. I had been in some of those places and God grew our relationship into what is now a deep friendship, and I say she is mentoring me now. She is a counselor specializing in eating disorders, newly married and expecting her first baby. Like Dawn said below, the willingness and commitment to prayer and accountability is the foundation of these relationships. Digging in deep with someone as gift, often beginning with nothing in sight for the mentor to gain, can be harvested into beautiful blooms in the most surprising ways.
Diane Bailey says
April 15, 2015 at 10:04 pmOh Monica, You have worded this so beautifully! I cannot add one thing. Love you friend!