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Ripening or Replicating: How are we growing as writers?

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When I first started blogging, I often heard,” Don’t compare your middle to someone else’s end.“  This was usually said at conferences by bloggers with platforms, RSS feeds bursting with subscribers, and years of experience being social media ninjas. As someone just starting out, I’d look at my one or two comments and think, I’m just not there yet, with yet being the operative word.

If I’d started in 2006 when the competition and noise on the internet felt more like the mingling at a cocktail party than an olympic stadium with the roar of the crowd drowning out the clacking of my keys, then I’d be further along too. I’d scribble the line in my notebook, or tweet it to my 25 followers, nodding my head because everyone knows comparison in blogging will make you . Once you go down that path, you may as well break out the duct tape to gag and bind yourself, because it’s pretty hard to write authentically while trying to replicate someone else’s success.

So I’d plod along faithfully, wrestling contentment down with each post, imagining when my “end” would come and I’d have arrived. When I could count myself a writer. Maybe get a book published or reach a certain number of subscribers. When I’d be the one dispensing anecdotes about the good old days of blogging and tips for building your platform. I’d dream of a time when my voice would matter.

 We often think of growth as a linear thing.

We back kids against door frames and etch pencil scratches along the years as the tops of their head stretch upward from chubby thighed toddlers to gangly teens. Failure to thrive would be, well, failure.  We think of growth as the raise you get after each faithful year on the job or the beater car with the tricky alternator that turns into the minivan or new SUV as each new child comes along. The dorm room of your college years to the 4 bedroom 3 and one half bath home with the wrap-around porch.  Growth means bigger, and bigger means better.

But what if growth isn’t always linear?

What if my end never looks like theirs because my journey isn’t taking me in that direction? What if growth was less about replicating and more about ripening ? Less about measuring up and more about pouring out?

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Because lately, I’ve been looking down the road and I don’t see the horizon brimming with the things I once thought I was headed for. Even the things I thought I wanted. And I’m realizing there is a great freedom in that. That in my corner of the internet, my words are enough, no matter how small.

I feel a collective pull of my writer friends, back into their lives, to write what they love, not just what gets tweeted or shared. There is a dedication to the seeking of words and story and truth that all writers wrestle with, but there is a calm too.

So many of us, who started with God sized Dreams of doing the big things, have learned that God works those out in the small things. That growth often comes in the deep blush of fruit swollen and ripe, and not just the arching branches seen from miles away saluting the skies. It comes in tiny rings spreading modestly across a trunk year after year, no more than the width of a fingernail. It comes in pruning season and it comes in harvest. It comes in roots grown wide and long under scorched earth, seeking out water and life and bedrock with which to sustain it’s might.

We don’t always see it. We just sink our teeth in, letting the juice gush lavishly down our chins, we taste and know it’s good.

psalm 348

Comments

  1. oh. my. word. This is beyond good, Alia!! Totally true and I love your heart and it is my goal to write what He wants me to say and not worry about the other stuff. Love. This. my friend!!

    • Thanks Mary. Yes, that is such an important goal to have and the weight lifted when we follow that advice is truly it’s own blessing. Love writing alongside you, friend.

  2. Beautiful! I agree. I hear that all the time. But, I am not a “big” blog. My posts don’t get shared and reshared thousands of times. Compared to this time last year, my blog has literally grown by leaps and bounds. But it is still very small.
    But, me. Well, I’ve grown. My writing has gotten better. I’ve grown in sympathy and empathy. I come into my own skin. And it is a great place to be.
    So, my blog may never get bigger. I may never be well known. But I am okay with the personal growth in my life this blog has wrought.

    • Yes, I think my blog has actually shrunk since this time last year because I was pouring so much into it but I can’t keep at that pace and be faithful to the other things God has called me to do and I’m realizing that is okay, because like you said, I have grown. It is a great place to be and don’t you feel great all barefoot 🙂 and free?

  3. I really needed to be reminded of this. Thank you for your words. They do matter.

    • Remembering it is one of the hardest parts of being a writer in the public or not so public eye. I’m so glad you were encouraged too.

  5. His timing is everything and I’m so glad He timed this post for today. This is just the encouragement I needed and I loved reading every bit of it. I love your thoughts on growth not being linear – it reminds me so much of one of my favorite writer’s (Madeleine L’Engle) thoughts on time (chronos and kairos). Linear is not always the way things move. Yes indeed. You words are a balm and a blessing. Here’s to pouring out!

  6. I went to seminary once upon a time, and though I’m not a pastor, many of my friends are. I see a similar dynamic in those who received “small” callings, many to “dying” churches. They preach week after week to congregations of 30, but their faithfulness to sermon prep matters just as much as someone who is preaching to 3,000, because ultimately they are not responsible to 30 or 3,000, but to God’s word and God’s particular call to each of them.

    I see the ministry of blogging in a similar way, though it can be easy to get discouraged. Thank you for your encouragement today.

    • I love that thought. I remember reading a story of missionaries who preached for years and not one convert. Then they passed away and the next generation there found old teachings and the entire village got saved. They never got to see the fruit of their labor but I know in the presence of God, all things are seen. I think we often focus so much on results that we forget there is a process of discipleship, obedience, and faithfulness that is the very work of God in our lives no matter what our stats say. Take heart, those who are faithful will reap in due time.

  7. Alia, what a beautiful piece of fruit this is. Your words are truly beautiful and give nourishment to this writer’s heart. Thank you for writing and being obedient, even through all the noise.

    • Thank you, Amy. I’m glad your writer’s heart resonates with these words. So many of us are feeling it. The call to just be faithful.

  8. This —> That growth often comes in the deep blush of fruit swollen and ripe, and not just the arching branches seen from miles away saluting the skies. —> This is what I need to remind myself all the time. It points me in the right direction today and confirms what has already started to take shape in my heart. Love you friend and love seeing you here!

    • Yay, I’m glad you have the confirmation you need for whatever God is doing in your heart right now. Glad to be a part of that work in whatever small way God has allowed. Love you too, friend.

  9. Good that you have learned this early on. I’m 30+ years into writing (yes, I’m probably older than your father), and this truth has come hard. Of course, be prepared to re-learn and re-learn and re-learn this . . .

    • Isn’t that the truth? I think most of my life has been relearning lessons I thought I got through the last trial, only to see my faithfulness, obedience, and pride tested again and again. That is the work of refining and ripening, I suppose. But as you can probably attest after 30+ years, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

  12. Girl… you know I love you… and this – so much Amen to this! I continue to lean in to All the Blogging Things… and then find myself leaning right back out. Reminding myself that what He has asked of me in this season is simple consistency… not a platform or a following… not even necessarily ever a published book… that may come… or it may not – and either way, that is fine! Just yesterday I was praying and He reminded me of the 2 things I am to do – in all things, but especially whenever I write! To break it down that simply – to accomplish two things… this restores the joy of writing, and relieves the pressures that are not ‘real’ anyway and this- THIS lets me tap into that ‘calm’ too!

    • I love that you know so clearly what He’s asked of you and that the results are left up to Him. I’ve learned them all too and while some of them are great, because I do want to be a good steward of the small platform He’s given me, I also don’t want it to ever get in the way, as it so often does. So stepping back and remembering what He’s asked, that makes all the difference. Love you, Karrilee! Thanks for your encouragement and faithfulness.

    • I know it is, Kris. I love that you want to grow in Him in every way and that your writing reflects that.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Andrea. I think for me, having God sized Dreams is an amazing thing and a step of faith that I’ve needed to take. I still have them and some of them are huge! But in that very process of dream chasing, I’ve learned that it’s what God does in me that’s more important than what God does through me. Stepping out in faith and believing God for big things while being content right where I am is a balance of walking with Him and following where He leads. I know I am most content when I do that very thing.

  15. I agree…there does seem to be a collective pull to pull back from writing to be noticed, posting to get comments, likes, etc. I read a piece at Goinswriter.com yesterday that really stuck with me. It was an interview with Robert Greene, who wrote the book Mastery. Here’s a quote I think you’ll like Alia Joy, “The problem that we have now is, a lot of people aren’t in touch with who they are. They’ve been on Facebook too much, too much social media. They listen to what other people are doing. Their attention is all outward focused on what others are doing. And they have no sense of who they are, or what they need to be doing.” We’ve got a purpose…we have to remain true to it. Blessings!

    • Thanks for sharing that Elise. I agree! I wonder if it’s a problem of social media and our age of information, that we’re taking in so much we almost can’t help but start to replicate each other and therefore lose some of our own purpose or if people just naturally have always been followers to a degree and we just need to remember who it is we’re supposed to be following and trying to look like. Or maybe it’s a bit of both. I know that if I read a bunch before I write, I don’t end up sounding like myself. I always have to create before I consume. I think one of the reasons I see this pull back is that it is utterly exhausting to always try to be marketable and what writers really want is to share their real with someone who will say, “Yes, me too.”

    • Thanks Adriel! It was so good to see you when you were in town! I love your heart as well and am so blessed when I get to see you.

  18. So much wisdom here, Alia. You write eloquently and from the heart and it resonates strongly in mine. Staying faithful and authentic in our own skin and to our own writing voice is what it all comes down to. Thank you for reminding me of these fundamentals that can easily get overlooked in the desire to move forward. Building trust is far more important then buiding a platform. Though it can be possible to do both as we stay true to the message God is giving us to share and help encourage others in the process. Just as you are doing, in fact! Love your writing. It really blesses me. Blessings 🙂

    • Thank you Joy. That is such a beautiful compliment and you’re so right, building trust and relationship may build a platform but building a platform isn’t the point, it’s just a bonus if it happens. Thank you for your kind words, Joy.

  19. Seeing so many of my friends already having commented makes me feel a bit late to the party 🙂 But here I am regardless… this resonates deeply with me right now. “What if my end never looks like theirs because my journey isn’t taking me in that direction?” <– This is the question on my heart lately, as I try to discern how God wants to change me, grow me, and use me through my writing. Thank you for the reminder to remember who I'm following, for He will always lead me where I'm supposed to go!

    • Well, I’m late to reply. I was away camping with the family. 😉 Yes, He will always lead you, it’s the following that’s the hard part sometimes. So glad you are looking to Him to guide you as you write and grow in Him.

    • Oh, and thanks for connecting on Twitter. That was a nice surprise to come back to all the twitter love. 😉

  20. “What if growth was less about replicating and more about ripening ? Less about measuring up and more about pouring out?”

    Wow. Truth spread out like butter on a piece of homemade bread–thick, sweet, substantial. Thank you.

    Deb Weaver
    thewordweaver.com

  21. I love this perspective. This encouragement. This truth that will resonate so deeply with so many of us. Thank you Alia Joy! Once again, something you have written spoke volumes to my heart, the writing AND non-writing parts, both.

    • Thank you for letting me know. I am so encouraged seeing all of these writers comment on how they want to follow God’s leading in the direction of their blogs, lives, writing, whatever. It makes me so excited for the things God is doing amongst us, and so blessed to be a part of it.

  22. I really needed this today my friend. I am on the verge of social media burn out, but haven’t allowed myself to slow down. I’ve lost sight of my love for writing. I never want this to become work,for I know that God has called me to it!

    • Yes! Social media burn out happened to me awhile ago and I just couldn’t keep up with everything I was “supposed” to do. I know some (a lot ) of it was pressure I was putting on myself to achieve certain goals but have realized that God has something different in mind. Learning to trust in His ways and resting in His timing and provision. Love you, friend. So glad you are remembering His voice in your writing.

  24. Less about replicating and more about ripening, yes and amen. Love your heart and cherish your wisdom.

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