allume

real light living

How to Become Part of a Community

By

 

relevant_2011_0065

Many of us can find it difficult to jump in and become part of a community–whether it’s in a new church, the city or neighborhood we live in, our children’s school or the homeschool community–and even the blogging community.

Often, it can seem as if some places are too closely knit, or appear as cliques, to get in. (And sometimes the cliques actually exist).

I’ve learned three ways to jump in and become part of a community

  1. Be helpful. This is no secret–esp. in the blogging world. But, typically any community you want to be a part of will embrace someone who’s willing to serve–in any capacity. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that God designed us to serve. 
  2. Be vulnerable. This is tough. Really tough. However, I noticed that when we allow ourselves to open up about our life, even just a little at a time, we learn we aren’t alone and form deep connections with the people around us. People recognize they aren’t alone and have a desire to connect, thus opening up and sharing, too.
  3. Be committed. You get out of something what you put into it. If you enter into a community and aren’t intentional about being committed to “show up”, it’s not going to be what you need it to be.

I’d like to apply these principles specifically to the Allume community, since everyone reading this is a part of it.

We’ve touched on commenting in a previous post , but this is a large part of how community happens; engagement. If you never comment, how can we know you? How can we visit your blog? If you do comment and have a blog, be sure your link is included on the comment form so we can come back to your place and stop in for a visit. There have been countless times I’ve wanted to follow someone back, and they didn’t include a link back.

Another place is via social media. For Allume, it’s particularly the #Allume twitter stream. People converse and share blog posts that people can relate with. We share quotes and funnies that we can laugh at. We share accomplishments and prayer requests. Come be a part, even if you don’t fully understand Twitter. Sometimes we need to just step out and meet people right where they are. (If you prefer to converse on Facebook, let us know! We’ll step out and meet you there!)

I know many of you are attending the Allume conference in October and you’re apprehensive because this is a new experience for you. Some of you have never been away from home since you got married or had children. You’re anxious for the unknown; you don’t know what to expect.

What if I don’t connect with anyone?
What if no one recognizes me?
What if no one wants to talk to me because my blog is tiny, or I don’t even have one?

As someone who has asked all of these questions, let me assure you, it’s most likely not what you think. Sure, we will all have our own perspectives on what we experience, but chances are high you’re blowing it up in your mind.

The women of Allume, they don’t look for stats posted on someone’s forehead. No, they recognize how much in common they have with other women because Christ is the center of it all.

People come, and get way more then they bargained for.

So, what can you expect from the Allume conference? Kindred spirits.

 

Comments

  1. I really needed this post.  Thanks for pointing out some areas that I need to work on and pray about – not just in social media, but in “real life.”  I’ve been struggling with becoming a part of my church community for over a year… and at the previous church I attended it was very much the same.  It was not  always this way – I miss the days of being connected with a church community. Moves and changes in life have brought my husband and I to a new church (well I guess it’s not so new anymore), and while I think the church body could have done more to extend their hand to us when we started attending, this post reminded me that I need to be responsible too.  Thanks and God Bless!

    • Jolene, I had struggled in our first church ever as well, even though everyone was friendly. I found that once I began to do just as Christin said, that relationships began to grow. When I serve beside other women, I get to know them and learn how we can support one another. In our small group study we are a transparent group and we have gotten close over the past year. I say jump right in and extend your hand! Blessings and good luck to you!

    • It is difficult–totally get that. As I commented to Crystal above, I would rather take the risk to step out, then to isolate myself. God knew the church body would need each other. Embrace this gift. You can do it! 🙂

  2. Oh, that sounds so lovely and wonderful and fun to be at Allume. Alas, but I spent my workshop/conference/betterment budget (and more…) earlier this year. I am keeping you all in my thoughts and praying for hearts changed, for perspective shifts, for eyes opened, and especially, for relationships to bloom in person. All of you ladies do good work here and are such an encouragement. Thank you!!

    • I totally understand, Kim. I get one conference a year and Allume is what I choose!! But you are still a part of this community! The conference is only an extension, not the community by itself. ((hugs))

  3. I was thinking last night about how much I missed by thinking I was not ‘in’ the circle the first year I attended…hoping to write some encouragement on my blog in the next few weeks for those attending the first time this year.

    • Please do! I would love to read something along these lines as well. This will be my first year, though my best friend will be there, too. I’m a huge introvert and just going to something like this is a big step for me.

  4. Christin, I struggle with this soooooo much! This hits home on so many levels, since we just moved to a new town, 5 hours away from my home town, to a place where we know NO ONE, and the only church that is one we feel comfortable with, doctrinally just happens to be huge and intimidating to a shy, insecure gal like me!
    At the same time, I’m preparing to attend the Allume conference for the first time ever, and this is a real concern! Thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

  5. This is a huge issue for me. Thank you for posting about it today. I’m looking forward to meeting you all in October!

  6. I have been thinking about community a lot lately. I have to spend so much time on my own blog to create good content, that when it’s time to do the engaging, I’m wiped out and want to step away from the computer. Still looking for that balance. 🙂

    • Yes, that can definitely be difficult!! Maybe focus on posting less, just until you have had a little time to engage and share your post out there. Then come back and write again. 🙂

  7. The most surprising blessing I found in blogging is warm, loving community. It has literally changed my life. I hope to continue to connect more, and I am so looking forward to Allume Social. I still have so much to learn!

  8. Love this. Great tips, Christin. I do try to comment as often as time allows, and when I read comments from others, I often click on their names to visit their blogs and find out more about them. 🙂 I also return comments to those who took the time out of their busy mom lives to read my blog post and comment on my blog.

    • That’s awesome Sandra and the key is consistency, not perfection. You may not have time to visit everyone or comment on every blog. The key is to be consistent about doing *something*. 🙂

  9. I appreciate this post, Christin. Sometimes I feel like I’m not “in the community” because of time limitations in being able to truly connect with others at their blogs and with social media. How do you balance the being present online with be present in real life?

  11. I have to admit that I am nervous I won’t come out of my shell and meet folks at Allume! I don’t want to miss the unique opportunity though! Thanks for this encouragement to step out!

  13. Christin, this is so wonderful. You see the circles of people who have met and know each other and you want in. I’ve already made amazing friends through this that I’ve never met. It’s a little weird putting yourself out there and just jumping in a conversation on Twitter with someone who doesn’t know you from Adam. It’s also extremely rewarding when those turn into days-long gut-busting conversations 140 characters at a time. Even looking down this list of comments I see faces that make me smile and others that I have yet to “meet”. Can you tell I’m just a little excited?? HHow many days now?

  14. I always wondered what a “tribe” was until I stumbled upon #Allume and the #fmfparty on twitter. Last week I also engaged in the #girlfriendgathering via incourage I have met some incredible ladies and hope to meet them in real life face to face one day! Thank you for this post and reminder about how important it is to comment!

Categories

Archives

Google+