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Tell Us Your Story

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I’ve been blogging for 7 years. Back in the day before WordPress was popular and Money Saving Mom’s old blog was still a website. In 7 years, I have had no measurable success as a blogger. No conference has ever asked me to speak, not one of my posts has gone viral, I’ve never had haters in my comment box, I’ve never made any money from a faith blog, and it’s been almost a year and I’m still working on my first eBook.

What can I tell you about blogging, you ask? My story.

I have been everywhere as a blogger. I’ve blogged about books, faith, babies, marriage, frugality. I’ve tried nearly every link-up and blog carnival out there. I’ve tried to do all the things a successful blogger would do and follow every how-to step.

It wasn’t until I realized these things weren’t making me happy and only increasing my dissatisfaction with blogging (and life) that I stopped. I came back to the reason I started blogging—I love writing. I had to reorient my attitude toward blogging to reflect my passion.

What did I learn?

Be authentic. Don’t hide behind masks. Don’t try to be someone else

Write from where you are and where you’ve been. When you have a few helpful tips on how to make your house, life, or kitchen more organized in 7 easy steps share how you learned those tips and tricks. 

Be authentic in your words. Don’t encourage to fill up a word count. Mean what you say. Believe it.

 

We’re done with Jesus-lite.

We’ve had enough nonsense, enough sparing for stats. Let’s leave the game behind and just tell our stories. Whatever niche, whatever post structure.

You will always be a more powerful, effective writer and communicator when you share your story. Don’t just give us your conclusion, tell us what brought you there.

Give us something compelling. Let us wrestle with you. Show the gritty side of your faith–whether it be in the homeschool room, church pew, traffic light, or DIY project gone wrong.

Instead of simply giving a directive, share your journey. If you learned how to be a more purposeful mother, then give us the back story. If you’ve discovered going grain-free or minimalist or fill-in-the-blank has improved your quality of life, tell us more than how, share why. Tell us how you got there. Give us the in-between.

Don’t be afraid to say life is messy.

We know life is messy, but we need to know ours isn’t the only one. We need to know behind that photoshopped beauty of a counter are crumbs and piles of last month’s mail.

When we hear a story it becomes a mirror reflecting our own need. It has the power to bring light to the crevices in our own lives. When it does it becomes a more efficacious tool for change than a bullet list shaking its finger in our face.

Story will always go farther than perfect.

Tell us your story.

Jessica is a contributor for Sister In Bloom. She writes about the everyday life, faith, mercy and justice, as well as her passion for writing at The Reluctant Sojourner.

Comments

  2. *applause*….I can’t really add anything more, so I’ll just say – thank you. For these words, for this challenge, for this truth! 

  4. Yes. I love this line: “When we hear a story it becomes a mirror reflecting our own need.” I’ve been writing in the memoir/creative nonfiction genre for years now, and what I love about it is the potential for my story, if I tell it right, to tap into the larger story–the one all of us are living in. 
    To-do lists and bullet points, those are fun and have their place. But they’re so forgettable.. STORY gets in your bones and stays there.

    • You know what? I use to think memoir/biography was boring, but the more I started to read it this is something I realized. And I love how you say, “story gets in your bones and stays there.” Yes!

  5.  I love reading posts that are so REAL.  It’s what makes blogging so personal. 

    I am a sinner saved by His grace!  I mess up everyday!

    And I swing through McDonalds with my 6 children when I am too tired to make a meal!

    I want to hang out with other NON-perfect mama’s out there!

    Thanks for sharing your heart!  Praying your words will encourage others to share their hearts for His glory!

  6. “…we need to know we’re not the only one.”

    SUCH a powerful truth!

    Your post reminds me of watching Brene Brown’s TED talk in which she shares her research about “whole-hearted” people. “What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a moment. Courage, the original definition of courage–it’s from the Latin cor, meaning heart, – and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”

    “to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”

    Now that’s a call to write!

  7. Thank you for this incredibly honest and encouraging post. I’ve been blogging for almost 3 years and have tried some of the things you’ve mentioned…some of it has made me lose my own interest in blogging…I’ve had to take steps back and ask…”What is this all about.” 

    Funny, this morning, I’m sitting in a Starbucks and before I even opened my computer said a prayer, “Dear Lord, what is all this blogging stuff about? What do you want me to do with it? If you have spaces and places you want me to be please show me and speak to me. Please show me the direction that YOU want to take my writing in.” The first thing I read after that prayer was your post…an answer to prayer. So thank you. 

  8. I am so with you on this!  The Lord has been impressing this need on my heart.  While my website is really about providing desperately need resources to tweens, teens, and twenty-somethings as well as their moms and mentors, it doesn’t mean my real life can’t be a part of the story.  Learning how to fit it in, without the blog portion of the website becoming about me, is something I am definitely seeking the Lord on!

    • That sounds like it could be a challenge, but I’m sure as you share from your experiences and passion for mentoring and these young women it’ll happen.

  9. It’s taken me a while to figure out there is a difference between telling and sharing my story, and giving my daily gripes and frustations. I’m so glad I learned the difference! As are those who cross paths with my blog I am sure. ROFL

    • When I came to this…it really made me realize how much more effective sharing our journey is. Even just thinking of all the times I’ve been impacted by hearing other people’s stories.

  11. Perfectly said, honest and what we need to hear.  Thank you Jess for pulling this out in your “inspirational” moment.  You are a blessing to me. 

    Thank you!

  12. Wonderful! Fantastic! RIGHT ON!
    I’ve been doing all the things you mentioned, carnivals etc. I’ve been struggling with this, feeling I need to put myself out there more, do more, but it hasn’t been working.

    Thank you! These words have been a blessing.

  13. Jess I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for this friend 🙂 I really believe that if we’re being faithful to write what God has called us to write, nothing more nothing less, He will be faithful to bring us HIS dreams for our writing. That’s a completely different concept than striving to follow a blogging formula for success. I’m refusing the formula now. Throwing it out the window (hard…with my obnoxious girl throw) and refusing to let it back in my home or my heart. 

    Be faithful to what God has called you to write and do it with excellence. And be satisfied with what He brings you. There’s peace in that.

    • Yes. Do it with excellence, be faithful, and satisfied. Those three things can be so, so hard in this blogging world. Sometimes my eyes and arms are reaching elsewhere. I’m always relearning this lesson…so many old ways left to kill. 

  14. I agree with you up to a point.  We should, by all means, write what the Lord has laid on our hearts; but there is also a time to withhold our thoughts, if we cannot express them without bringing shame to our God. 

    God is a Holy and Righteous God.  We do doubt Him at times.  We become disillusioned and bitter.  We feel such pain and regret.  However, if we are going to share those things, we MUST then share the TRUTH that God has spoken to us in the *midst* of all of that.

    Rants, gripes, cursing against our situation and our God do *not* help.  They belittle the awesomeness of our Saviour.  If we have no hope to offer, perhaps we need to hit the “save to draft” button and wait until God has brought us out of that dark place before we share every little thought.

    Yes, we must be real, but we must also *always* offer our readers HOPE in CHRIST.  If we can’t do that, we do the name “Christian” a disservice.

    It is a sacred privilege to speak of our Christ to others.  We must be
    sure to carry that responsibility with dignity and honor – not as though we do not experience pain, but rather that He is so faithful to bring us THROUGH it.  🙂

    HopeFULLy,
    Alesha Kay

    • Alesha, 

      I agree that whenever we share we should use discretion and wisdom, and there are times when we need to wait before we share what God has brought or is bringing us through. My main point is that so often Christians write and share as if they have no struggles or if they do they’re a quick fix with a churchy answer—that helps no one and usually isn’t honest. 

      But I do think it’s okay to share our struggles and doubts, not in angry or bitterness, but in a way that says, “I don’t really understand what God’s doing. It doesn’t make sense to me.” God is okay with our doubt and struggles. He isn’t phased by it nor does it surprise him. I don’t feel we have to keep such a tight grip on our reputation as Christians in the fear that if we show our weaknesses we’ll somehow malign God. He’s big enough to defend his own glory and nothing I can do will steal or hinder His glory. 

      That’s why I say share the nitty, gritty hard stuff. We need to know we’re not alone and we need to hear the story of someone who’s further down the road than us. 🙂

  15. Amen! I’ve been blogging for 4 months now and I have participated in link ups, carnivals etc. But the real joy in blogging for me is when someone says, “Yes, you get me! I’m there too.” It may not always be pretty but sharing our story and connecting is what makes the writing experience so meaningful, regardless of stats and status. Love what you’ve said here. Truth.

  16. I love this, Jess! You’re so right: story will always go farther than perfect. I’ve given up on perfect and am actively seeking out fellow strugglers. Life is better together, and you can’t find togetherness when you’re worried about living up to an impossible standard of imperfection. I’ll share my mess with you anytime, sister.

    • Yes, yes, yes! Striving for perfection and fanning perfection only keep people further away AND thinking that they don’t measure up too!

  19. Such an encouraging post for those of us (ok, maybe just me!) who feel the need…the drive to WANT to simply WRITE! No frills, no bells, nothing more than sharing my daily life with all the ups and downs and everything in between! THANKS!

  20. Everyone has a story and it is a blessing to share it so that others can be blessed by it.

  21. I loved your words so much! You are right! Trying to follow all of the tips to successful blogging didn’t make me happy either. Being able to reach, connect, and encourage the circle of women in my community, no matter how “unsuccessful” my stats may claim to be, has brought me so much joy.

  23. Hi Jessica, thanks for posting here today. 🙂 I agree, sharing stories is powerful, and I love when I get a glimpse into someone’s life, the skin behind the screen. But I also think we shouldn’t discount those who write bullet point posts and such, because we are all wired differently, and some days, I just need to read 7 quick tips on getting my home organized! 😉 The bottom line is, let’s love and respect how each of us chooses to express ourselves via our blogs, whether that be through stories or bullet points. We are all made differently, and we operate out of who God created us to be.

    I really like this: “don’t just give us your conclusion, tell us what brought you there.” So good. 

    • Yes, of course. I didn’t mean to say we should stop the bullet points or numbered lists, but be willing to tell people how we got there. 

  25. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I needed to read this. Makes me all snoopydancing happy!

  26. I have just started within the past month, but posts like this are so important for me to read upfront.  I think starting out that it can be discouraging when all you seem to see is perfect, and poetic and pulled together with amazing graphics and no crumbs.  It’s hard for me to even find a place to take a picture.  🙂  All I can be is me, if I’m not being that who will?  Thank you so much!!

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