allume

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You’ve Got To Have Friends

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We are going to be asked to do hard,

When I was 16 a friend pushed me to the top of a mountain. Within mere seconds of setting my feet at the top, I fell all the way down–literally from the top, to the bottom.

Let me explain.

The morning we gathered our belongings and suited up for a ski trip in the hills of Pennsylvania started off like any other cold Virginia morning. The church parking lot hummed with the chattering of anxious kids, spouting off about what amazing skiers they were and which mountains they planned to attack first. I felt like a coral fox, sporting my Mom’s melon colored snow suit from the late 80’s and her “Wookie” boots she’d picked up while we had lived overseas. (These boots were so rad. They were covered in long, white goat fur) I’d even matched my nail polish to my snow suit. Obviously, I had my priorities in order.

When we arrived at the ski lodge after pairing off with some friends, one of the guys I was with asked me to ski with him. As we made our way to the lift we needed to catch to the top, I watched as we passed all of the signs for the green (beginner) and blue-level courses (intermediate, for you non-skiers).  At this point, despite the frigid air, I started to sweat. “Where are we going?” I called to my friend who conveniently blocked the sign to the mountain we planned to ski.

I will never forget the playful grin that spread across his face as the lift chair scooped us up and started for the top. As the ground disappeared below us, and all opportunity for escape evaporated, I looked to the left to see the sign. We were preparing to ski a black diamond course. For you non-skiing people, black diamond courses are not for beginners. They are not even for people who have skied a few times. These difficult courses are intended only for people who have knees made of rubber bands, and nerves of steel. And also, lots of ski experience under their belts.

I had none of these things.

As our skis touched the snow at the top, my friend pulled me out of the safety of the lift. I strained to look over the edge of the mountain, desperately plotting my strategy for getting back to the bottom in one piece. The trouble was, I could not SEE the bottom. It looked like a straight drop off. I punched my friend hard in the arm and he took off shooshing down the mountain, snow flying in a cloud behind him.

“Come on!” he hooted as he whooshed past me.

I decided the best way down, was to angle my body parallel to the mountain and step down on the sides of my skis. My plan was brilliant except that by the third step or so, I hit a mogul and lost my footing. From that point, I don’t remember much except that the entire mountain consisted of a series of teeth-chattering moguls, which I bounced off of, one to the next, like a pinball. Apparently, I howled all the way down. I don’t remember this, but my friends, who were waiting for me at the bottom recounted the sounds of my howling for me in stereo. Bless them.

This goes down as one of the scariest, most exhilarating moments of my life. I was utterly terrified, but at the same time, inspired. The challenge to ski the mountain was not posed with malicious intent. My friends loved me and challenged me out of their own bravery.

It was risky. I could have been seriously injured. And while I don’t recommend that as friends we push each other off of black diamond mountains in life, my friend gave me a gift that day. As a a semi-experienced skier, I tended to stick towards the easier slopes. I wanted to stay on my feet. I didn’t want to risk looking like a fool. I wanted to play it safe.

If my friend hadn’t pulled me up the mountain, I’d have never have done it myself. Sometimes, we need to borrow from the bravery of those who have more experience than we do. That day my friend pushed me dangerously out of my comfort zone. I faced a fear and survived it.

While I am no longer tumbling down mountains, I am facing down other fears as I continue to step into places God has called me to, with my writing and work. My friends these days challenge me to get on the lift and ride it to the top of wherever God has invited me to meet Him. 

This is the gift of good, godly friends. Iron sharpens iron. Having friends that push us to go harder and further than we think we can, strengthens us.

Following Christ’s call on our lives doesn’t often look like life on the bunny slope. We are going to be asked to do hard, scary, seemingly-impossible things. True friends don’t let us off the lift. They hold our hand to the top and say, “come on, here we go!”

You’ve got to have friends, and if they love you, they’ll be waiting for you at the bottom of the hill, ready to recount your glorious decent, and remind you how far you have come.

What are the black diamond mountains God is calling you to descend? Who are the people pushing you on and cheering you on the way? Mention your friends in the comments and share this post with them so they know they are one of your people. 

 

Comments

  1. Kris Camealy! (Particulary of late)
    Shelly Miller
    My friend Harriet
    And oh so many more.
    Thanks for reminding us to live in a world where healthy and helpful pushing and encouraging can and perhaps should exist in the bounds of friendship.
    Leaving friends to press on and push toward dreams without whispering words into their lives? Hmmm, I want a do over on the times I have committed this “sin of omission”. I want to be a cheerer oner and be surrounded by them too.

  2. Oh, I am ready! Life here has been so hectic lately – school is out, we moved, etc. – that I don’t even know where my mountain is anymore. I keep waiting for things to settle down and it’s becoming abundantly clear that settling down is not on the agenda. I’m just going to have to adjust to this new reality and move forward. I do have some lovely friends who encourage me to keep writing and pushing on: Pam, Tonya, Rebekah, Marcy, Sarah, Sharlene, and Alia are just a few.

  3. My mountain is my HUGE storage unit which holds a half century of belongings to sift through. My counselor, my life coach, and my friend Jewell are pushing me and cheering me on. It is a challenge and a privilege. God is calling me to let go of the things of my past that keep me from receiving what He has for me in the present.

    • Ah, Linda. That is a hard thing–but I imagine, at the back of the storage shed awaits a freedom you have yet to discover. There is a gift in the sifting of memories. Jesus is near, friend. Keep going.

  4. “Following Christ’s call on our lives doesn’t often look like life on the bunny slope.” Loved that.

    So thankful for the army of friends who are showing me where to set my feet and place my skis on the mountain God has me on. and many of those friendships were forged at Allume. Love this analogy. Eager to see you in a couple of months!

  5. I love this Kris, Thank you for sharing your audacious experience! My friends, are Susan Stilwell, Dan King, Mary Bonner, Holly Barrett, Lyli Dunbar, Robin Dance

  6. There’s always a mountain, isn’t there! I’m so glad for friends who encourage me not to just settle by the lodge fire with a cup of hot cocoa – but to keep at it!

  8. Yeah I hear you about borrowing from others’ bravery. I’ve done that with trainers in my riding and driving lessons. After awhile I was able to go off on my own and the fear lessened.

  9. the fur boots! yippee! thank you for this encouraging and challenging post. we can’t do life alone, and many times we are too proud to take risks or ask for help. hooray for friends and family who will spur us on – and give us the nudge to take a chance when we don’t see the possibilities.

  10. Kris! This was such a fantastic post–funny and wise and a kick in the pants. My dear friend Susan is one who consistently calls me to move out of my comfort zone. Also, my husband. And of course, my kids; parenting is one long black-diamond slope, isn’t it? And you, too, friend–you inspire me to be more than I am. Thank you!

    • Kimberlee, It’s such a gift to have those people in our lives who give us the necessary push, and teach us to be brave. You are definitely one for me!! XXOOO

  11. Without my friend Kimberlee Conway Ireton, I wouldn’t have finished the black diamond slope of a PhD, especially the last harrowing 6 months. I love the image of your friends cheering you on as howled your way down. Those who love us give us a wonderful gift–they can see the end of the course even when we can’t, and can see how close we are to finishing. Kimberlee’s daily, and sometimes hourly, reminders that I was almost finished (as I howled!) made all the difference.

  12. Quick question. I entered my email address to get notifications of new blog posts here and it said email feed is not enabled?

    I don’t just have one black diamond run on a slope. Sometimes it feels like I have a whole mountain range! But I am blessed that God has given me the ability to break down huge problems into small pieces and the endurance (or stubbornness, maybe? *lol*) to keep putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes more slowly than others…

    I used to ski and it kind of reminds me of that. I could be in line waiting for the lifts to open at the beginning of the day. I could lose track of the number of times I went up and down the mountain – not on black diamonds but not on bunny slopes either. I could ski faster towards the end of the day in order to get in ‘just one more run’. I wasn’t even sore clomping back to the car in my ski boots. But once I sat down and unbuckled everything…that was all she wrote. The /thought/ of moving sounded impossible.

    OK. So brevity is not my strong suit. But I enjoyed your post. :O)

  13. Kris – What a beautiful reflection on the way we push each other to greatness. Do you think friends ever push each other in ways that aren’t wise? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the wisdom of “Bad company corrupts good character” as I heard research in neuroscience that suggests how we think and feel is actually influenced by those around us, even beyond their words and actions. (I love when neuroscience confirms biblical truth!) Anyway, I love your essay and love thinking about the implications in other directions.

  14. Girl, your friends are crazy! ( Just kiddin! ) I would have lost it! Lol I get it though. I had a friend this summer come to me and /…( he knows I ave been struggling with fear and releasing a few things into the online community.) He said: You have to release three things this year! YOU ARE BRILLIANT!” I knew every bit of what he said was true… and the first one will be released on August 30th. That means I have two more releases before the end of 2015! I guess that to me is equivalent of being pushed off a mountain! Lol

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