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Is This a Picture I Really Want People to See?

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ThisisWhatYouDoI had been huddled under a small umbrella for the better part of an hour as the rain poured down. I was soaked and shivering. The kids, on the other hand, were giddy.

We always like to claim one day during the summer when the kids can swim in the neighborhood pool while it’s raining. I have to agree that it’s something of a spectacular experience. There’s just something about sharing smiles and exhilarated shoulder shrugs as you go for one more dive into your pool-turned-stormy sea. That is, until the lifeguards blow their whistles and declare your playground too dangerous and then you huddle under a too-small umbrella, wrapped in wet towels with your mom. Game over.

Then finally. Finally the rain eased up and a sliver of sun peeked out. I saw our chance. We had a hill to climb, bodies to dry, lunch to make, a movie to watch.

We quickly threw everything into the wagon and set off, hoping to make it home before the heavens opened again. My oldest son took off (why wait when you have long legs?) and the middle one and I walked along, pulling the little one. Slowly, slowly.

That’s when she called out to me.

My friend had taken shelter under the pavilion, several stories above me. She called down to me, holding her phone in her hand.

“Let me get a picture of you!” she called.

Oh, well, I stammered. I just got caught in that rain, you know. My hair. Oh, my hair.

She smiled (a mom of three boys herself) and clicked the picture despite my stammering. I dreaded seeing it, actually, because I felt like a drowned rat and who in the world would want to remember that?

Then she sent me the picture.

I looked it over and thought, well, it’s not that bad. I thanked her for sending it because it was nice of her to capture us that day despite the circumstances. Not a picture I’d necessarily put out there, of course, but still. It told a story of our day in the rain, that’s for sure.

That’s when she e-mailed me these words:

“I just don’t think moms are captured enough in their day-to-day memories of what they do. This is what you do every day and it’s so sweet.”

Oh, my.

That picture. It is what I do everyday.

I fill wagons and fold towels and give opportunities to swim in the rain. I am a grin watcher, a hair dryer, a shoulder hugger and stuff lugger. I walk miles back and forth from here to there and back again–often times feeling like it’s uphill both ways.

I brave cold water and bad hair and dark circles under my eyes. I’m an independence giver, a hand holder, a hurry-upper and a movie watcher. I’m a lunch maker, a forehead kisser, a negotiator.

I’m an anchor and a pusher, a cheerleader and a task giver. I squeeze boys (at least those who will wait) into pictures and smile because despite the chaos, I love the exact spot on this earth that my feet are inhabiting. Holy ground. All of this.

This is what we do–us moms. Every day. It can be messy, alright, but it’s beautiful.

My friend of three boys? She knew enough to capture the moment. My beautiful, wet-haired, soaked-to-the-bone, random Monday, perfect-in-its-imperfect moment.

“This is how I always think of you,” she said. Wise woman, she is.

I think it would do my heart good to think of myself this way as well.

 

What would your beautiful, messy, perfectly imperfect mama moment look like today?

100_3028Katie Kenny Phillips lives in Atlanta with her husband, Jeff, and their three hilarious boys (Bigs, Middles and Littles). Their home is made up of two parts Legos, one part dirt/sticks/rocks/acorns and all parts “whose underwear is this and why is it in the middle of the family room?” She and her husband just started an orphan/foster care ministry at their church and are excited to become foster parents themselves this month.

Katie writes at Operation: Leap of Faith and is a proud contributor over at Next Level Mama and at The Forgotten Blog, sharing her family’s journey into foster care. You can also find her on Twitter @opleapoffaith

Comments

  1. A lot of truth is written here. My only son is 25 I have few, if any, pictures of my daily, everyday life…thank you for sharing these lovely thoughts.

    • Thank you, Mary! I know, we have so few pictures of those moments–and a lot of times (like the photo above), I didn’t really want a picture taken because I didn’t “look” how I wanted–you know, done up, put together. But most of our moments aren’t with a perfect mama so I think I should take more pictures and just forget about my hair-ha!

  2. Goodness Katie! Loved this! I JUST wrote on my blog’s fb wall that I need to take more pictures WITH my kids instead of just OF my kids. That post got more attention than any I’d ever posted!
    It hits a spot with moms. Deep down, we know that capturing most of these moments would be grand…especially when we think about leaving a legacy.
    God bless your friend for that pause and snap. A moment for you that is now worth so much!

    • Thank you so much, Kela! I agree, it’s something of a hot topic with us mamas–we want to be in the pictures for the memories but often times we’re our own worst enemies when people offer to take them. I’m thankful for my friend who smiled at my hesitation and took the picture anyway.

  3. Katie, your writing just captivates me, drawing me in for more. You are truly gifted my friend. 🙂 I can totally relate. When pictures are being taken, it’s rarely with me in them. The few rare moments I am in those “action” photos are usually when I look at the picture and think…”ewww, look at my hair!” or “well, there’s a less than stellar photo of me!” But the truth is my kids aren’t nearly as hard on me as I am on myself. One day they’ll look back at those photos with a smile and say, “look at mom, wasn’t she awesome?!” Or at least I hope that’s what they’ll say. Lol! 🙂

    • Rosann, what can I say? You are always such an encouraging friend to me. You have a gift! And I think we’ll be a lot more kind to our photos when we’re older…I think we’ll realize that we shouldn’t have worried so much about the stuff that doesn’t matter! 🙂 I know our kids feel that way!

    • Thank you, Crystal! You know how you and your heart work were an inspiration in this one!

  7. haha…I wish my “bad” photos looked that good! lol. I agree though…it’s the normal everyday moments that our kids are going to cherish as they get older.

    • 🙂 Thank you, Crystal! I agree, it’s those little moments that they will remember. And I’m pretty positive it will have nothing to do with how we looked or what we were wearing.

  8. I don’t know why I need reminders like this, but I guess I do. I love the warmth in how you described you adventure, even though you said you were cold. Maybe you weren’t even having the best time ever, but you were building strong bonds and great memories (we always remember the love more than the discomfort!) I find it way too easy to get distracted with the work of the day and I need to remember that my deepest feelings of loving this life come from being connected with my kids and husband. Thanks for the reminder and for sharing this beautiful picture!

    • Thank you, Beth. We all need the reminders, trust me! Me too, over and over again. Here’s to building strong bonds in the midst of summer storms and bad hair days! 🙂 Haha!

  9. So sweet to realize every little act is significant, one full of love that will matter for eternity. Thank you for your sweet story Katie…and I was excited to learn we’re in the same #startexp group!! Blessings…xoxo

    • Hi, Jacque! Thanks for your sweet words of encouragement! And yes, I was so excited to see that we were in the same group! Looking forward to getting to know everyone!

  10. I was thinking yesterday as I changed outfits and covered up spots to go to church–what if we went to church clothed as we really felt on a Sunday morning, rather than all dressed up like we want others to see and think? Thank you for these reminders to be real.

    • Yes, Gretchen Louise, I agree! Let’s all agree once and for all to be real. So much less pressure! 🙂

  11. Thank you for writing about this! I used to work for a professional photographer. I was the one who got to go through the photos with the families, and show the possibilities of how they could be displayed in their home. Countless times I heard, “Oh, I take terrible pictures. I just want one of hubbie and the kids, or just the kids. I don’t want me in the pictures. 🙁 And countless more times I would remind them that this mom in the images was the mom their family loved.

    It can be hard to get the pics, especially if you are the only adult around. Take the time to set up that iphone or camera on the desk or shelf or whatever, set the timer, and get into the picture! I am so appreciative of even bad pictures from the past because they have captured a moment with me and my girls. As Nike says, just do it!

    • Thank you, Kim! Capturing the moment is so important–and even when we don’t look “perfect” (do we ever feel like we look perfect?!), we appreciate it later on.

  12. This is lovely and beautiful and full of truth. Mama needs to stay IN the picture instead of behind the scenes so much; she is the anchor and the heartbeat of the home! Hope you continue to guest post, your writing is fantastic!

    • Well, gosh, didn’t you just make my day!? Thank you for your encouragement (I’d love to post again!!!) Anchor and heartbeat–love it!

  13. Such truth and told so beautifully. Thank you for baring your soul (and rain-drenched self) to give us moms a powerful reminder!

    • Thank you so much, Nancy! Rain-drenched, I was! But I’m so glad for that picture now.

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