allume

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A story and a blogger’s prayer…

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A Blogger's Prayer via @Allume

I was nervous when I attended Allume last year. In preparing myself to go, imagining meeting blogging friends included fighting feelings of being in middle school again, petrified at the thought of seeing everyone in real life and them not liking what they see, when they see me, and fearing being left on the outside of the circle — echoes from junior-high taunting still haunting

Yet, as real as those paralyzing fears may be, they weren’t my greatest concern. The condition of my heart was. Would I leave Allume wanting to make a name for myself? Would I leave feeling small and shameful about it, with the only way to rectify it being — pursue becoming big?

My fears weren’t realized, in no accounts, especially with the matters of my heart. The people I met were people. Just people, and beautiful ones, too. Realizing that dispelled most of my insecurities. And, I left Allume last year with new friendships made, and a greater desire to serve God, my family, and the readers I already had.

I don’t know how they did it. Every keynote speaker, and breakout session speaker, big bloggers and smaller ones alike, had woven into each of their talks the same message — your relationship with God and people, especially the ones in your own household, are the most important things to focus on. Period. Only the Holy Spirit could have orchestrated such unity.

 

At the end, my heart’s cry wasn’t for greater numbers, it was for a greater passion to seek and please God.

 

Yet, I’m human and broken. In the seasons between, I let go of what I knew to be true. Somewhere along the way I gave my blog away. In my effort to do what I thought I was supposed to do as a blogger, I began to sacrifice too many of the wrong things.

I lost control of my yes and no. I was saying yes for all the wrong reasons and saying no to all the wrong things, with people-pleasing all mixed in to create a toxic mess. I sacrificed things I was never meant to; my walk with God, my health, my children, my husband, my home, my true self. This summer, my one week blog break turned into two months, and I’ve slowly come back to blogging. Though, I am not the same.

Blogging has a different purpose for us individually, and collectively the same for all of us who call ourselves Jesus followers. Everything we do should be motivated by a desire to bring God glory. We live our purpose to represent Him on this earth, so others would know that Jesus was sent by the Father. It’s our holy privilege, even in blogging. We differ in how we go about it, and that depends on how we were designed by our Creator. But that’s another post, entirely.

Today, I surrender, again. I surrender it all. My prayer has become more fervent, “Let Your will be done in this place, and not mine, Lord.”

 

And maybe you can make it a blogger’s prayer for you, too?

 

May my blog be where others may find the Way, the Truth and the Life. 

May my blog never deplete my relationship with You, God, nor my family.

May it only ever point the way to the cross, and be a beacon of light for those who have lost their way to You.

May I be a faithful servant to the precious readers you have entrusted, no matter if they read quiet, and no matter how long they may stay. And as they grace these pages may it be Your grace they find.

And no matter where You may take me from here, no matter what I may find along the way, and I know there will be many distractions vying for my turn to the left or the right, may my most passionate pursuit always be of You.

And to the Father, I echo Your words, Jesus. “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me. And to finish His work.” John 4:34 

“May I glorify You on earth
By completing down to the last detail
What You assigned me to do.”

John 17:4 MSG

In Jesus Name. Amen.


Still living a life surrendered,

Michele-Lyn

Comments

  2. Thank you for sharing your nervous feelings regarding attending Allume–this is my first year, and I cannot believe how adolescently anxious I am when I think about it!

    Regarding the beautiful prayer–Yes and amen!

    Deb Weaver
    thewordweaver.com

    • I felt the same way last year, Deb. Remember we ALL feel that way. But the women are amazing and you’ll fit right in!

      • Tricia,

        It’s hard to believe you were a bit apprehensive. 🙂 You were amazing in your talk. Your words are still working on my soul.

    • Deb,

      I know, I revert to my teenage-self, surprisingly, too often. 🙂 But Tricia is right, we all feel that a little, one way or the other. And you will be surprised how lovingly you are embraced. 🙂

  3. I love the prayer, especially “no matter if they read quiet” 🙂 When I first launched my blog, I had dreams of lively, engaging conversation taking place in the comments section — and I’ve done everything I can (everything you’re “supposed” to do) to facilitate that… only to hear crickets.Talk about shades of junior high! Emotions like a roller coaster. And then the humbling, as God has sent readers to me privately to share what He’s been doing deep in their hearts that they just didn’t want post. I so appreciate the reminder to focus on obedience and let Him use it as He will. Can’t wait for my first Allume conference this fall!

    • Christin,

      I had to laugh a little out loud at the thought of hearing crickets. I live in the country, and we hear a lot of crickets! 😉 But I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes we need something tangible, like a comment, a follow or a share to help keep wind in our sails. But what a beautiful and free place it is to be able to continue with the same passion and effort no matter what may see, simply because we are walking in trust and obedience to God. I ride my own roller coaster at times, but God is faithful to never give up through the transformative process. 🙂

  4. Thank you for sharing this Michele-Lyn! I love that last Scripture. All my reading this morning has pointed to glorifying God. I love when He does that!

    I also read this this morning:

    “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). Moses didn’t realize that his face was radiant, but others saw it! He was being transformed. Warren Wiersbe, Jesus in the Present Tense

    God is glorified because you radiate, friend!

    • Tricia,

      Your time here, your comments and your words today mean more than you know. Thank you for taking the time. You are a great leader in my life. I’m humbled.

      And that verse you shared, that is one of my most favorite of all. Seriously. Just love it for so many reasons. Thank you for the encouragement! I hope I get to hug your neck at Allume. 🙂

  5. Beautiful Michele-lyn…I love your honest heart…keep following His heart alone…this is the only place to find peace and rest….whether it be amount the noise of the crowds or silence all around. Blessings and grace to you~

    • Ro,

      Sweet friend. It’s been a while. I know, I’ve been offline more, but still, I’m always blessed when you come for a visit. You are a pillar to me. You help keep me grounded. Your words and example have been influential in my life. Thank you for your encouragement and tender wisdom. 🙂

    • Kris,

      Thank you for saving me a seat at almost every meal. You have no idea what a gift that was. I hope I get to the same for a newbie this year. 🙂 Love you, friend.

  7. Amen! Thank you for your vulnerable and truth-filled account – it’s helpful for newbies like myself to be reminded of the vitality of a truly surrendered heart that desires God alone to be center stage!

  8. This is so good. I’m definitely saving this prayer. It’s a great reminder to keep the main thing (God), the main thing.

  9. I love your heart and your transparency here. As a newbie to Allume this year, I’m incredibly excited and nervous! I’m overwhelmed even more as I read suggestions to have an elevator pitch prepared, business cards and conference binder. Who knew??? But I will choose to remain focused on what drew me to Allume in the first place…the love that radiates within each post for Christ and for others. My goal too is to shine BIG for Him! Whoever I encounter along the way, big or small, means nothing if I seek Him less or if He isn’t pleased. I will definitely be praying this Blogger’s Prayer! Thanks for sharing.

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