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Why Motherhood Needs Sisterhood

By

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

Dickens’ penned these words to begin my favorite of his works, A Tale of Two Cities.  I’m finding this is an apt description of motherhood, though.  In fact, there are days when all of this is true within an hour.  {Can I get a witness?}

motherhood needs sisterhood {Teri Lynne Underwood || allume.com/blog}

Motherhood feels like a full contact sport sometimes.  This child of mine can bring me the greatest joy … but, as we’ve entered the teenage years full on, I have found myself in tears wondering how she could break my heart so easily.  One of my wise friends told me a few months ago, “Don’t take it personally.”  In my head, I know she’s right.  But, y’all, no joke, it’s hard not to take it personally when your child hurts your feelings.

Having a thirteen-year-old girl has taught me a few things.  But the biggest one is this:

Motherhood needs—demands—sisterhood.

More than ever I need women to come alongside me.

I need the 20-something woman with dreams in her heart and stars in her eyes.

She’s eager for life to get started, for that man who will sweep her off her feet, and the children who will fill her home with fun.  I need her to remind me to laugh and enjoy these days.

I need the friend who has cried into her pillow and fallen into a heap on the bathroom floor, again, when the pregnancy test is negative.

She gives me this precious gift of looking at my child and seeing her as what she really is, a gift from God {Psalm 127:3}.  And this friend, this one in the sisterhood, she also offers me the opportunity to love someone well, to reach out beyond my home and into the heart of someone else.  I need this … because it’s far too easy to get wrapped up in car pools and dance recitals and how in the world we’ll pay for college.

I need the friend with the newborn, the one whose eyes are exhausted and who can’t put sentences together.

She is the one who lets me snuggle with her baby and whisper the promises of a God who is good and faithful into his sweet ears.  I need this {really need this!} because even though my girl has a big helping of her momma’s sassiness, she’s still my baby and she still needs to hear that God is good and faithful, especially when middle school girl drama feels overwhelming.

I need those moms with little ones toddling about and learning to read.

I watch them watch their kids.  And I need them to help me remember to celebrate the successes … whether it’s potty training or making cheerleader.  I need this because there are days when all I see is a messy room.

I need those women who, like me, are wondering if there is enough hair color available to keep us looking somewhat decent through these teenage years.

These women in the sisterhood know the frustrations and fears, the way each day can go either way and you’re never really sure if the child that enters the room is going to be the happy child you thought you’d raised or this sullen stranger.  Oh I need these women … because some days I start to believe I’m all alone and I’m really not.

I need those women who have raised their kids and lived to tell about it.

The ones who say, “Cherish these days, they’ll be gone before you know it.”  The ones who remind me you never stop being a mom, your heart never stops breaking when your child hurts, and your smile never goes away when your child is happy.  I’m so thankful for that part of the sisterhood!

And I need those women who love my girl.

The teachers and the coaches, the other moms and the older girls, the grandparents and the ones who could be, the single women who pour into her and the ones who tell her she is a world changer.  I need them, all of them, because motherhood is too hard to go it alone.

I need the sisterhood.  We all do.

So Happy Mother’s Day to the whole lot of you—the ones with babies and the ones with grandbabies, the ones who dream of babies and the ones who are living the dream, the ones who are hurting and the ones who are helping.  You all make a difference and I’m a better mom because you are in my life!

Would you share in the comments how you’ve found the joy of sisterhood in mothering?

xo,

Teri Lynne 

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Comments

  2. Hi Teri,

    {{{HUGs}}} Oh the Truth of your words sweet Sister! Thank you for sharing your heart. Too many Moms think they are alone. Sadly, many are when they do not have to be.

    Yes! Be enCouraged!!! There really is Life after the Teenage years! Life when she becomes a strange and wonderful mixture ~ a daughter-sisterfriend. Who, and hold this precious truth in your heart, who admits that she needs you & likes you as a person. o/ The wonders of seeing your daughter take her place as a sister in Christ is priceless. Yes, your sister too.

    Any Time you need a Sister, who has climbed out of the trenches with daughter still holding her hand, I’m here to pray for & with you! I do have references. LOL! 😉

    Hope you have a Wonderful Mom’s Day. My God grant you & your daughter a precious memory & bonding moments for yes, she is still your little girl at heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

    Love Ya! Susie 🙂

  4. Hey, sweet sister, If you ever want to talk with someone who is further down the road ( and survived the teen years -four times), I’d be honored to sit with you, on a cozy couch, with coffee and cookies – and listen! Good Post, good job!

  5. So good, Teri Lynne. And so very true. I am so grateful for the company I have in the trenches of this Motherhood season. I NEED my sisters. You are my people!!!

    • Thanks, Kris! We do need each other … and I’m finding more and more how important it is to tell people people how much I need them. So let me say this to you: Girl, you are gift in my life and I am so thankful the Lord crossed our paths and has on the road together.

    • Kathy, sometimes there are not words to express how much someone has impacted my life … just know you are so very precious to me!

  8. Teri Lynne,
    My children have given me some of my greatest friends, as we have context. We are in similar places at similar times, and when I am struggling the most, I see their situations, and find the blessing in knowing…it’s not just me, and …I am not alone.
    Thank you for these beautiful words.
    Peace and good to you, sweet dreaming sister.
    Chelle

  9. i love the sisterhood for sure, but don’t leave out the husbandhood:) they have a perspective on our children that is unique, yet their interest in them is as vested as ours. my husband’s perspective on our daughters was always helpful and often spoke to unique problems i was having with solutions that had never crossed my mind.

  10. TeriLynne, you can get a witness right here! AMEN, sister! A to the men! What was most beautiful and encouraging, to me, about these words of yours, was the reminder to get outsidenofnourselves and our current circumstances with our kidlets. Take a moment to get out of these trenches and look around at all of the beautiful sisters that are actually in there with us. I so loved this- what an awesome nod to women at every stage of motherhood

    • Thank you … sometimes I get so “inside myself” as a mom. I need those reminders to look around, to embrace others, and to let them embrace me!

  11. Teri Lynne, oh girl, if this isn’t the truth. Having a preschooler, elementary, middle, and high schooler, I find myself praying, “Jesus, help me hold on until bedtime.” (or till the next hour on some days!). It is my friends (exactly like you said – friends at all different stages) who help me know I’m not alone in my prayer!

  12. A full contact sport, indeed! Both from feeling beat up from the regular work of being a mom and beating up on ourselves. 🙁
    I love having friends/mentors from all age groups. They all have such wisdom, insight, and encouragement to offer!

  14. Thank you for this lovely reminder. We need to cherish our sisters! {And, I’m so grateful, you’ve joined the ranks of powerful women of God that I’m honored to call friend!}

  15. Thank you for sharing this. You are so right, mothers need other mothers. It is hard for us moms who really have no one locally to lean on, to go to for advice or just compare battle scars. Yes, there is the online world and there are many supportive women out there, but
    sometimes we need a real body in front of us that sees our tears and feels our fears. I know for myself, that I often feel alone because I am alone. And I am sure I can’t be the only one. With no moms my own age to relate to (all the moms around me with children my son’s age are almost young enough to be my own children – I’m an older first time mom) it can be hard flailing about in the seas of motherhood on your own. The sisterhood can be hard to join when so many women are so closed and tight knit that they refuse to accept another one into their circle. I am however making more of an effort to reach out to other moms, regardless of age or location to fill their void and be supportive of them. There truly is nothing more therapeutic in helping you forget your own problems than helping someone else with theirs. So I choose to continue on alone, without a local sisterhood and take a refreshing break in the online sisterhood. So I thank you. 🙂

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