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Fans Do Not Equal Friends {The Benefit Of A Smaller Blog}

By

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”

C. S. Lewis

I think it’s safe to say, I’m a “smaller” blogger. I don’t like that phrase very much because sometimes that word, small, can sound like “insignificant” and sometimes, I believe that’s what it really means. But today, when I say small, please know I am only referring to subscriber counts. Let’s not let that little word make us feel less-than, okay?

I’ve been publicly blogging for 2 years now. In the grand scheme of things, 2 years is a sneeze. A blip. A blink. But the truth is, I have been tempted at times to fret over the growth (or lack of growth) of my blog. I’ve watched other bloggers skyrocket to having hundreds of thousands of subscribers in the time I’ve been blogging. This hasn’t been the case for me, but during a recent blogging break, I realized that I couldn’t be more thankful for where I am right now, in my blogging journey.

For the last ten days I went mostly offline. It’s been a challenging season for me, balancing writing and publishing my first book with homeschooling my 4 kids, Coordinating MOPS, being a wife, while still managing to keep everyone fed and in clean underwear. I hit a wall of exhaustion and had no choice but to sequester myself for a bit.

What I didn’t expect during this time, was the overwhelming support that came in the form of phone calls, text messages, tweets and private messages on Facebook. 

98% of the people who contacted me during this break were friends I have made online. Ya’ll were calling me. I got your sweet texts offering prayers and encouragement. My small blog has served as the conduit for these relationships. The size of my blog doesn’t matter to me–my friends matter. The people I have met and been able to get to know through having a smaller blog, that’s the stuff that gets me all goose-bumpy.

Not having  thousands of blog comments to sift through is a blessing because I am able to read and reply to the people who take the time to encourage me, or cheer me on in my writing endeavors. I don’t need a team to handle my correspondence. Having the ability to connect with my readers has turned so many into real-life friends. I don’t give my phone number out to everyone, but some of my readers, they have it because they are more than ‘fans’–they are my friends. 

God’s faithfulness in my blogging journey hasn’t looked like a subscriber list 2 miles long. It’s better than that. God has blessed me with specific people in my life who I have met through blogging, who now journey with me.

The greatest gift of having a small blog is the community you can enjoy. Lets be honest, no one has time to reply to hundreds of comments. I read a post earlier today that had over 1,273 comments and the first thing I thought was, how do you connect with that? And the reality is, you don’t–not really. Fans do not equal friends. 

As much as I want people to read my writing, I care more about hearts than head-counts. <–Tweet this!

Friends, whatever the size of your blog–please know that you are touching lives with your words. On the other side of that screen sits a real person, who cries real tears or laughs genuinely when they read your words. Treasure this season of small. Embrace the joys of actually connecting with people for purpose. God has given  you a community, it may be 5 or 5000. Whatever it is, recognize that He has you where you are for a reason–and it may look different than you imagined.  

Smaller blogger have a unique opportunity–community. Embrace your community. You never know how it will change in time. This is where God has you right now.

Get to know your readers–love them, and when you need it most, you’ll be amazed at how they love you right back. 

Comments

  1. “Treasure this season of small”—YES! Man, this post has fueled my day, Kris. I am a VERY small blogger, but am ok with that. That is definitely something God spoke to me about at Allume last year–be small! And yes, you were greatly missed during your break!

    • I am so thankful this encouraged you, Christie. Your words are an important addition to the blogoshphere–YOU are an important friend in my life! So thankful for you!!

  3. I love this. I’ve also just crashed exhausted and have a v. Small blog. I always believed that if only one person is encouraged then that is the person God needed to read it and that’s good enough for me. Here’s to being small and personal 🙂

  6. You are changing lives – with your words, your faithfulness, and your friendship. You have changed mine – so glad blogging brought us together & The Lord made us sisters 🙂

  7. Couldn’t agree more. Love my tribe, they’ve truly saved my life during difficult seasons. They were my 98% reaching out and loving me when I needed it the most. You do that for me often Kris, so grateful for the way you listen and love people. I’m happy to be small, it fits just right.

    • Shelly, I knew yo’d get this. You are such a faithful friend and encourager. I am grateful, grateful for you! Your wisdom and encouragement are a tremendous gift in my life.

  12. Kris…this was a treat to wake up and read this morning. Thank you for encouraging us “smaller” bloggers. My takeaway is “community” and not being overrun with too much to respond to. And “treasure this season of small”…love that 🙂

    • Dee, God has placed you in the specific place you are, He brings the readers–there are no accidents, really. Giving thanks for your community today–for your willingness to serve those who come to your table.

  13. Oh friend, yes! I have been blogging five years nearly, and still consider myself a small blogger. I have been so encouraged and surprised by the blessing of my on line friends. Such a gift to me!

  14. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It hit the heart today–and I needed it.

  15. Amen to that! I’ll take relationships any day over a flood of commenters with whom I just don’t get to connect. Yes, it does give me pangs of anxiety at times, seeing the same thing: other bloggers who have seemingly skyrocketed their readership. But, falling into the comparison trap just never ends well. Thanks for your words!

    • Yes–we have to protect our hearts from the torment of comparison it leads only into a black hole of despair and envy. Look at all this goodness He has brought right to our doorsteps (so to speak) This, right here is all that matters. I believe that when we trust Him with our words, He will provide the specific readers who need to hear what you have to say.

  16. Love this…I’m a small blogger, too. I had such grand dreams two years ago when I started, but I think I’ve come to a similar place. I enjoy the community and the fact that I can connect through comments and blog visits without feeling overwhelmed. Such good words and encouragement today…thank you, Kris!

  19. Kris!! This is so, so good!! Thank you for making it “okay” to be small and not feel the pressure to make yourself believe bigger is better. I consider myself a “micro” blogger and at times I wonder if my voice is heard or matters at all, and if I’m supposed to do all the things the pros tell you to do to succeed. If I’m supposed to make myself “fit in” when I don’t feel like I do. More and more I’m content with being just me. I find myself sending people blog posts in response to questions they ask me personally about hurts and struggles they’re having. I may not have traffic, but I have a hundred posts I can send out to encourage other women who are feeling lost, lonely, anxious, hopeless, and unloved.

    • Are you kidding me, Tammy? It’s completely Okay to be small–though if I’m honest I haven’t always felt that to be true. But more and more, I know God is reminding me to live where I’m at right NOW. Focus here. I have no doubt you have encouraged a great many through your honest writing. I know you’ve encouraged me–Love you, friend.

    • Tammy. I love your response. I too am very small and have been blogging now for nearly 8 months. I honestly thought I would be reaching that one lonely person in her room with only the light of the computer to bring her comfort. But what I found was a “blogland” of God’s people reaching out in power and strength to do according to His perfect, pleasing and acceptable will.
      Woke up in the middle of the night two days ago frustrated with where I was at right now only to open my email and find just the right blog, with just the right words at just the right time. God is an amazing communicator and I’m glad to be in the beautiful flow of it all.

    • Yes–I love that word–invest. Pour into these hearts who come to you for encouragement and truth. God is honored when we honor the gifs (the souls) He places in our lives. Thanks, Tammy!

  21. Great words….I love seeing the journey you and God are on…so thankful He doesn’t want us to despise the small things….we truly live in an upside down kingdom….one where a cup of cold water has value ….blessings as you continue to grow first and foremost in Him….and as a blogger ~

    • It is so very upside down, isn’t it, Ro? It has taken me too long to understand this, but I am SO thankful for His patient, yet relentless work on my dense heart. He is so good to have connected us in this giant online space. ((hugs)) my friend.

  22. Kris, this article really spoke to my heart, today. I, who may have only three or four people reading my posts, always pray that even just one heart will be helped and encouraged with my words. I am so honored to be one of your “fan-friends” And hope that friendship can grow deeper with time. I pray that you are blessed this glorious weekend.

    • Lauren, I am thankful for YOU, sweet friend. I know that the 3 or 4 who show up are so grateful for your words and willingness. You never know how far your reach really is. I am confident that our obedience, even in the small is what please God. It’s all a gift. So glad our paths crossed, Lauren. God is too good to me!

  23. Oh yes and amen! I’m honored to call you friend…

    God knows what we’re capable of (and we’re all big to Him) The best thing? He knows how much I can handle right now. And when I start to hear those whispers of “look how big you could be”, I remind myself what He told me when I started blogging: “I haven’t called you to reach a multitude, child, I’ve asked you to reach out to just one. I’ll take it from there…” And He has. faithfully.

    • He is faithful to remind us of our calling, when we’re willing to listen, when we continue to seek Him. I love your faith, Nikki. The way you seek hard after Him and follow willingly is beautiful worship to witnes. I am blessed to know you and call you friend!!! XO

  25. This is wonderful Kris! Such a great perspective! I have also made many new friends since I started blogging and I wouldn’t trade their friendships for tons of fans any day!

  26. Fabulous post, Kris! I’ve also been blogging for two years…and I keep reading books and posts about tribes & platforms…and I am fascinated by it all, but can’t say that I have built much of one in these two years! I am guilty of wishing my stats were larger…but I pray that what I write touches the right people at the right time. It is a ministry that God will grow (or not) and be in charge of however He wants to work through me! I’m so honored to have made wonderful friends like you!

    • I love that you said that– it’s for God to grow as he sees fit. Certainly we must be obedient to Him, in our efforts, but we can also trust that he will bring the readers when He wants them to come. Thankful for you, Kristen.

  31. I couldn’t agree more. Whenever I start coveting bloggers with tons of readers, followers and pages and pages of blog post comments, I just think about all the work it must take to respond to those emails, comments and social media posts. It never fails to make me more thankful for where I am.

  32. Amen. Keeping our eyes on “the one” instead of “the many” is what its all about, or should be all about.

    Janelle Marie
    gracecalling.net

  33. Amen, again! I may not get many comments, but odds are I “know” most of them. I gotta say, I’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get a pic together. Next time? 🙂

  34. I completely agree. Some of my favorite people are bloggers I’ve met in the past few years. Love your heart, Kris!

  35. I’m pretty sure everyone has already said what I want to say, but just wanted to pop in say I agree too. “Smaller blogger have a unique opportunity–community. Embrace your community. You never know how it will change in time. This is where God has you right now.”

  36. Good reminder for me as I’m just finding my place in the blogging community.

  37. Wow! This is a word in due season. Thanks for making clear what is so easy to forget in the quest for “blog growth.”

  38. Wow. This is a godsend for me. I love blogging, and feel a strong pull to grow–that’s what everyone is talking about, what everyone seems to be doing! The thought’s occurred to me, however, that I’d much rather build friends than just a bunch of faces on GFC! I would love to hear more from you on that–how you’ve been able to stay focused on friends rather than simply fans??

    • Sarah, forgive my slow reply, I am just now seeing this comment. To answer your question, I’m a people person, so focusing on friends vs. fans I think comes somewhat easily to me. Now, that said, I also struggle with pride and when I find success with blogging, there is ALWAYS a temptation for me to focus more on the numbers than the hearts. But God has done some serious work in my heart, and He has cleaned out so much of the trash in me that tempts me to focus on success I stead of Him. I share my refinement journey in my book, Holey, Wholly, Holy, and honestly, this is Gods work in me. Apart from Him, I’d be a very different person with my focus on all the wrong things. I’d love to chat with you more, feel free to email me if you like.

  39. When I get overwhelmed by the lack of readers (or underwhelmed I guess), I force myself to pictures faces and hearts, because truly, that’s what I want to see. I want my words to be a beacon of light on a dark day, a hand being held onto tightly in the rough seasons, a sister to cry with, a friend to go for a walk with. I want my words to be that of a friend.

  40. I’m not exactly sure how I found this post, but it pretty much sums up everything I feel and appreciate about the blogging community. This post is a true reminder that it’s all about perspective. While big numbers look nice and boost our egos, they don’t fulfill us with true and honest friendships like the ones you described. Thank you for reminding me that I have much to be thankful for and friendship is what this blogging community is all about. 🙂

  41. I found this through @kikiatpaintchipmadness:disqus’s post and I have to say, I totally agree!! I think that there’s something to be said about building genuine connections and friendships… and sometimes that gets lost as we focus on numbers. Sometimes a reach can be wide, but shallow; or narrow but deep. Not always, but maybe we’re being heard by exactly the people who need to hear us. And I know it means a lot that even one person besides me reads my words, let alone people take the time to genuinely comment on them. We must not lose sight of that and your post is a major reminder. THANKS! 🙂

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