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Commitment Leads to Action, But Both Start with a Dream

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When I first began pursuing my dream career as a writer, I felt guilty following my dreams. My days looked like this: homeschooling in the morning, and then writing in the afternoon with a few hours I set aside while my children played. Those early years, I wrote articles and ideas for novels as Barney played on the television. At least a dozen times during those writing hours my kids would ask me for milk, for a snack, or to play with them. I’d offer what I could but then reminded them, “This is Mommy’s writing time.”

Guilt weighed me down as if Barney the dinosaur sat on my shoulders. I thought I must have been the worst homeschooling mother ever. To combat my guilt, I swung the other way. I wanted to do everything—to make sure my kids lacked nothing. I became over-committed, making frequent library trips, getting my kids involved in every church program, and signing my daughter up for dance lessons and my boys up for sports.

It was my husband who urged me to stop the madness. Sure, I was writing and my kids had very active lives, but I was running myself into the ground. Our kids even started getting stressed because they had no down time. Finding peace took me figuring out what was most important and focusing on that.

“Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer,” says Marcia Wieder. During the months to come, John and I dreamt about what type of family we wanted. This was just as important as any writing dream. Then, once we knew our priorities we were able to decide our action, our priorities:

  1. To provide a godly education for our kids
  2. To sign up each child for one extra-curricular activity a year
  3. To have dinner time as a family
  4. To train our children how to be part of the family unit and do chores
  5. To connect and serve in our local church
  6. To have reading time together as a family at night
  7. To see what God was doing in our lives and follow Him

Now that I’m getting the chance to homeschool again, this time with my two-year-old daughter, Alyssa, I’m finding I’m more lax about things. I’m also a lot easier on myself about following my dreams and being a good mom. These priorities continue to guide my everyday living as I spend time with my writing and with my daughter . . . and Barney still playing in the background.

Tricia Goyer

Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing Tricia! I enjoyed reading and Barney is seriously playing on the tv as I write this! I need to need plan out some consistent writing time for my blog and other endeavors instead of trying to get in 10 minutes here or 30 minutes there. I love you list of family priorities!

  2. Reading this glimpse into your early writing days is such an encouragement to me. I ride that pendulum swing from one extreme to the other. Throw in working part time, too {ministry no less, where work ALWAYS follows you home!}, and the weight of the guilt propels that swing even faster!

    God has been teaching me a lot, but I have a long way to go! Love your reminder to write down our family goals.

  3. Loved this thank you so much for sharing. Guilt is something I think every mom deals with but I know thats not from God there is no condemnation in Christ! Thanks again.

  4. Thanks so much for this encouragement! We’re trying to make time for both my husband and I to write. It’s often easier said than done.

  5. Yay! I’m not alone! I have spent these last couple of days on this very thing. My first daughter is two and a half, and my second daughter is sixteen months. We have just started “homeschooling,” which is really just a few age-appropriate arts and crafts and physical activities that happen to have an educational theme. We “homeschool” for a couple hours in the morning, but the rest of the day is used for me to do house work and work work. The work work is also a new thing for me. While I work, they watch Disney Junior and Nick Jr. All of these new things in our schedule have led to great feelings of guilt. I am there for them. I check on them, feed them, change their diapers, address owies, etc. Unfortunately, I’ve been reading about all these homeschoolers who don’t watch tv and how tv is bad for creativity and how it is a waste of time. I also read that these same homeschoolers have help from husbands who also happen to work from home or from nannies or from twice-a-week babysitters. Those are not options for me, and tv is the only thing that keeps my girls from running amuck while I work. They watch very clean, educational shows, and are actually pretty smart cookies. Thank you for showing me that I’m not the only one who leaves the tv on in the background, that children will be okay even for having watched a bit of tv, and that stressing over it makes it worse rather than better.

  6. I am so right there!! Homeschooling in the morning, hauling kids around in the afternoon, and trying to figure out how to squeeze writing into the mix. After birthing 4 kids in 5 years, we thought we were done with babies. Until God surprised us last fall! Now I’m expecting #5 in May and processing what activities my big kids (ages 4-9) need to step away from to create a little more margin in our lives. Thanks for the encouragement that it CAN be done!

    • I just had to step away from a Bible Study I LOVE because we welcomed two new kiddos into our home through adoption. There will be a season for these other things!

  7. so relieved to read this AND the comments–I’m not alone 🙂 just a couple of weeks ago, I had the same conversation with my husband. I realized how my over commitment to church activities and supermom tendencies have created its own stress. Today, I’m learning to go easy on myself-thx for the encouragement

  8. Sounds like you have wonderfully supportive husband. As women, I think it’s in our DNA to want to do all and be all for everyone else, but putting ourselves first makes us more available for them.

  9. I felt very encouraged by your commitment to writing admits motherhood when I read Blue Like Play Dough. Thanks for sharing again!

  10. Thanks for these encouraging words to this ‘writing’ & home educating Mama. I have those same feelings. Blessings,

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