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Balancing Being a Mother and a Writer

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Read the first part of this post on my blog!
 
Tricia here. I started writing when my kids were five, two, and a newborn, and I was starting my first year of homeschool. My husband was in college and worked at night. We were POOR. LOL.

I started writing during naptime, but by the time I started getting book contracts, my kids were too old for naps, we still homeschooled, and my kids were home all day. So for years I wrote when they were around the house—usually in the afternoon. 

I was just talking to my daughter Leslie about this a few days ago. She’s twenty years old and she’s PASSIONATE about God. She’s a pretty great writer, too! Here is her blog: http://www.lesliegoyer.blogspot.com/

Anyway, I asked Leslie what were the benefits/drawbacks of having a writer-mom at home. These are the three benefits she came up with.

1. Leslie said it really impacted her how I modeled serving others in my life . . . and through my writing. She said I showed her how important it was to serve other people.
2. Leslie said that it really grew a love of books and writing in her. She loves to read and write and is minoring in writing/editing in college.
3. Leslie said that it was “cool” having a famous mom. Her friends thought it was cool. She also got to meet amazing people and she was able to travel with me to interesting places. (I had to laugh at the “cool” part. She never told me that before!)

I asked about the drawbacks. She told me it was what her and my brothers referred to as the “five-minute rule.” They would approach and ask me something . . . and then wait. “Then, Mom, after about five minutes, you’d turn and say, ‘What?’ Or you’d turn and answer our question. We’d always laugh about that.”

I thought that was very funny, and I can remember that happening. If I was writing I’d have to finish off my train of thought before I turned to answer them. I’m glad to know that they thought it was funny. Also, it was NORMAL for them. It was normal to have me writing at my computer for a few hours a day. (They were with me 24/7, and I had times dedicated JUST to them, too.) And I was still there—still present. Our presence as moms makes a big impact.

The funny thing is that Leslie didn’t mention the stuff I felt guilty about:
1. Not having a clean house all the time.
2. Limiting their extracurricular activities to one activity per child per year.
3. Getting a babysitter once in a while.
4. Going away to conferences a few times a year. (And later a few more times to speak.)
5. Having weeks now and then of picking up pizza or Taco Bell for dinner because I was under deadline.

Every family is different, but this really encouraged me. As I balance writing with a two-year-old, it’s been a huge BENEFIT to see that the older three have turned out great. It’s helped me to realize that I often feel guilty about things that aren’t really going to matter years from now. It also makes me realize that being present, and letting your kids know that they ARE the most important thing, goes a long way!

Tricia

www.triciagoyer.com
www.notquiteamishliving.com

Comments

  1. I really loved reading this because it puts our home life into perspective, too! My kids and I work side by side and when they need me (since some are still little; 2-10 years), I can be flexible. Some days they need me more than others and some days you’d think I didn’t even exist!
    Thanks for sharing your home life with us! 🙂

    • Christin, I remember those years when we were all working side by side. Now they walk in the door and I pounce on THEM because I want to hear about their day. LOL. (Yes the 20-year-old and 18-year-old are going to university and living at home. I love it.)

  2. Tricia, you are such an encouragement. I love the perspective you bring to this discussion. My girl is in 7th grade and attends public school. I am blessed in this season to have plenty of time to write … but also plenty of time to waste. My biggest goal is to give my attention to writing when I’m home alone and my biggest attention to others when they are with me. I’m thankful for this season … it’s a gift!

  6. This is so encouraging, Tricia, as I’m right there starting to homeschool my 5-year-old and 3-year-old while carving out time to write every day. I loved hearing you speak at Allume, and I appreciate how you’ve shared your family’s experiences!

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