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It’s Not Writers Block, Y’all

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I have a plague and I’m afraid it’s incurable.

 
If you are reading this, then chances are that you have it too. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you will most likely wrestle with this illness the rest of your natural life. We’re not alone. Many have been misdiagnosed, some label it writer’s block. 
 
Let’s start by taking an assessment. Check over the list below and make a mental tally of how many of these you have experienced:
 
  • Over-thinking phraseology
  • Thoughts get caught in the mind-trap 
  • Frustration freeze limits typing time
  • Brainstorm graffiti abounds but fails to flesh out
  • Everyone else has good ideas
  • Constant comparing
  • Fear of rejection
  • Stats obsession 
  • Vanishing joy
  • Nerves
  • Non-committal
  • Failure to Launch

 

So? What’s the verdict? Maybe I’m alone here, but I battle all of them.
 
I love to write. I start out in the zone and nothing can stop me. Then I get about half-way through and the words stall out. I try to knock out the concept and no matter what I write it seems lame. I try again. Lame, again. Write, delete, write, delete, cry, slam computer closed and stomp away ticked off. 
 
I may not actually do this, every time, but it’s an all-to-frequent occurrence. I show up to write, but nothing gels.
 
I have so many thoughts and ideas bouncing around in my brain and heart that I can’t get them out fast enough. I feel like a volcano that’s telling the hot, ready-to-erupt, lava: “Hold on a sec there, hot lava. Don’t come out yet.” 
 
All day I tell my inner-voice, “You can come out one hour here before the kids wake up, and maybe during nap if everyone sleeps, or tonight if laundry’s caught up.” Then when the time comes to put fingers to keys, my inner-voice takes a hike while my right pinky finger gets all too familiar with the delete key.  
 
This, my writing friends, is not writer’s block. This is something much more serious- 

The Perfectionist Plague 
Image Credit
 
Initial symptoms at on-set:
 
  • “I should write about…”
  • “No, that’s already over covered.”
  • “Great! She stole my idea.”
  • “What if nobody understands me?”
  • “Is this good enough?”

 

Within a very short time span the disease will progress. Potential risks associated with Perfectionist’s Plague may include but are not limited too:
 
  • Obsessing over word choice, milking for awesomeness
  • Writing sessions that conclude in exhaustion and disappointment
  • Hesitancy to start any idea for fear it won’t work
  • Failure to finish and “ship” completed work 
  • Satisfied only when accepted by the masses

 

Constant striving toward the perfect blog post or article is painful and destructive. I am a recovering perfectionist and I will always struggle. This tension reminds me of my need for Him, smack dab in the middle of everything I say, do, and write (type.) It’s a good thing, this plague. It points me to Jesus.
 
I am a new writer. I am going to write like a new writer whether or not I like that. I am going to look like a fool sometimes. I am a terrible speller and depend too heavily on spell-check. I couldn’t pass a sixth grade english grammar test if my life depended on it. And for some reason, God is still using me. I can’t stop writing when I feel debilitated by my illness. I must press on. 
 
There is no pill or quick-fix for this epidemic. There is Jesus. He is patient when I’m impatient. He is wise when I am unwise. He is loving when I am judgmental. He is peace when I am chaos. He is The Word when I have no words.
 
His grace is enough.
 
Write on, oh sickly ones! 

 


 Lindsey Carlson is a (very) young, painfully un-hip 30-year-old,  attempting to maintain her youthful zeal while raising four small kids and driving the mini-van she never hoped to have. Most of the time she can be found pulling boys off countertops and other furniture, throwing away wet pull-ups, or tracking down the next big adventure in parenting. When all her kids are sleeping, she enjoys writing about God’s faithfulness; it seems to get the crazy out. She blogs regularly @ By Faith The Carlsons.

Comments

  1. Lindsey —

    I love this line: “I am a new writer. I am going to write like a new writer whether or not I like that. ”
    A couple of months ago, after meeting with a friend and mentor with whom I was collaborating on a book proposal, I realized I was saying to myself, “I HATE not knowing what I’m doing. I HATE not knowing what I’m doing.”
    And I had to ask myself: Why hate the truth? I’ve never written a book proposal before. Yes, I’ve been to workshops and read books and educated myself as much as possible. But in terms of actual experience, I do not know what I’m doing. It’s a fact that can only be changed one way: by writing book proposals.

    Since I’m finishing one up this weekend, your reminder that the only cure for The Perfectionist Plague is to rely on the Word is very timely. Thank you.

    • Cheri, Thanks for sharing. This is the next milestone that I have pushed far, far away. Because then, I’d have to be new at something else. I’m impressed that you’re gripping the proposal process with gusto! You’ve at least challenged me to get over myself. I’m constantly telling myself how much more I have to learn before I’m ready for THAT…

      Praying that your words would be found in THE Word and your heart found in His. Grace to you!

  2. I can relate! I am the worst speller! All the letters get in but not always in the right order. Plus I flunked 2nd grade phonics and from that point on I thought I was bad at English. After year’s of thinking I’m only good at math I find myself unable to stop writing. It just comes pouring out bad English and all. Oh well this newbie writer has a lot to learn 🙂

    • Sorry Leslie, I am the worst eplsejr… Just kidding. Doesn’t it make you thankful for spell check? Maybe the teachers back then just didn’t teach us phonics the way we needed to learn?! Glad God’s grace is sufficient and we can still communicate anyway. 🙂

  3. I’m so glad there is someone out there like me. I’m going to start telling myself what you wrote “I’m a new writer and I will write like one”! I AM an new writer, a new writer who is really enjoying writing, grammatical errors and run on sentences….!!!
    This was an awesome post.
    sewcarolinaknits

    • Ha! Excellent. I may tape that one up on an index card! I think this is why I am homeschooling; so I can get a second education in writing and grammar! It’s my favorite second grade subject. My daughter thinks I’m a nerd!

  4. Oh my. Oh my, my, my. I confess to some of this (as a new writer myself) but I’m just rather frustrated with myself and trying to find the time to “produce” the fruit of what God is vining and twining inside me. I have time management issues. BUT…… I’m paying attention to Him. I’ve already recognized that while there a a bazillion “voices” out there…there is really only ONE message. While there are umpteen-million topics to cover, God will use a variety of his “voices” (we, who write/speak/go and tell!) to get the job done. I can have confidence that there’s a tweak or a nuance He wants to tweak and nuance through me…for my particular (and small!) audience. I have to trust THAT…or I’ll never write again. Can you imagine what the Bible would look like if each of the Gospel writers said “No, can’t talk about THAT miracle, Luke already covered it.” Etc. Yeah…God chooses whom He chooses and uses them UP! Praise Him! Thanks for the insight and encouragement Dear Lindsey!
    Lorretta
    http://www.dancingonthedash@wordpress.com

    • Lorretta, LOVE the insight about the gospels’ repetitiveness. I struggle with this ALL the time! How silly of us to think that Jesus only wants to say things once. Keep writing for YOUR readers!

  5. Oh yes. I have been visited by the perfectionist plague. It is not a welcome visitor, but it keeps sneaking back in and trying to settle down in my heart.

    • Tracie, I think the perfectionist plague is my version of the thorn in my side. I’m afraid it may always be there. But, God’s grace is sufficient and each time I struggle, it reminds me of my need for Him! Praise God for his strength in my weakness. (and IMperfection.)

  6. Perfectionism…could that be described as going back and fixing your posts–even when they are days old–when you find a mistake? Because I’ve NEVER done that! Ha! Right there with you sister. You’ve saved me a trip to the doctor and now I need to make an appointment with the REAL Doctor! 😉

    • Gee, Mindy. I’ve NEVER been tempted to do that either…what are you talking about?! I don’t even fix them, I just delete them! 🙂 It’s those darned lessons we thought we were so wise when we wrote and then later realized that was the lesson that revealed our lack of knowledge and made us look a’fool. Oh well, helps us not take ourselves so seriously, right?!

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