allume

real light living

Plagued with Comparison

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Oh, how you wish you were she.

She has followers galore and why wouldn’t she? She is pretty and sweet. She always seems to have the most captivating things to say. She weaves her magic with social media in a way that makes you feel like you are in kindergarten and she is earning her doctorate.

And you look at what is in your hands and it’s dirt compared to her masterpiece. Everyone loves her and no one seems to even notice you. Or perhaps they do notice you but you know that you are still so far behind her. After all, numbers don’t lie. They tell you who wins the popularity contest. Right?

But it was never meant to be a comparison. It really wasn’t.

When God called you to this thing called blogging He didn’t look at you to compare you with her. No, He looked at you to fulfill your role and her to fulfill hers. Yours was never meant to look like hers.

It’s really only He who can promote you. It looks like its followers and traffic but it’s not. It looks like you were in the right place at the right time and connected with the right people but it’s not. It is His hand on your life. It’s His purpose for you being fulfilled in His perfect timing.

Our gifts and dreams started in God’s heart. When you understand that it is all His it is so much easier to lay it down on the altar and let it be all for His glory. When it’s all about Him then no part of it has place to be about you verses she.

It’s a beautiful tapestry He is weaving together with all of our dreams and gifts. Her part is no better than yours IF you fully embrace your place and don’t let comparison distract and deceive you.

When you learn that it’s God’s handiwork flowing through you it is easy to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness in each person. When you learn how He works then you can rest in knowing that you are so valuable. You are His favorite you!

So what’s a girl to do who is plagued with comparison?

  1. Ask yourself why you are doing this anyway? Is it really your calling? Is it a dream He has given you? If so run with it only while running after Him, putting Him first.
  2. When you feel tempted to compare remind yourself who is doing the tempting and take your thoughts captive. The Holy Spirit does not tell us to compare ourselves with others. We are only to compare ourselves to what God’s word says is true about us.
  3. Remember that God is for you! He has a perfect plan for you and if you only run after Him and His plan without the distraction of running after being like another person, then He will bless and promote you. He expands your territory as you are faithful with what you have been given.
  4. Always return to your source. You need His reminders daily of how much He loves you, how precious and valuable you are, and that His plan for your life is good and perfect. When you hear from Him regularly then you will be so much less likely to look to others to affirm you and give you value.

Have you been guilty of comparing {I’m the first to raise my hand}? What makes you unique as a blogger (experiences you’ve had, gifts and talents, etc…)? Think about it and please do share! We’d love to hear from you!

Kristin Lemus is a contributor for Sisters in Bloom and writes about being purposeful and living in freedom at Purposeful Homemaker.

Comments

  1. Beautiful reminder. May we all write the things that God gives us, with a humble, open heart. Giving what we have like the little boy with the loaves and fish- trusting that God can make more than enough out of our small offerings. 

    • Hi Janice,  I think we all need fresh reminders of this often.  I could only write this out of a work God did in my heart and He keeps drawing my eyes back to Him. Blessings, Kristin

    • Thank you Denise! I love that God is for us and rewards us when we seek Him.  It really is far better than human rewards.  Although we do still need encouragement like the incredible Sisters In Bloom and Allume! ;o) Love, Kristin

  4. How easily I forget that I am Hs favorite me. Thank you for this post. I needed the reminding.

    • Hi Lori, Yes the numbers call to us loud and often don’t they?  I’m so glad you are being faithful to what you are called to do.  God will bless you so greatly for it! I’m praying His provision for you today. Blessings, Kristin

    • Hi Jolene, Thank you!  I love that your blog title is The Alabaster Jar.  That is such a beautiful (and loaded) title. Blessings, Kristin

  7. Good word friend. Its so important to be focused on how he can use us and realize that our role isn’t defined by the role the Lord has for anyone else. Thanks for sharing such great truths!

    • I love your heart Logan! I think you are a great example to us of embracing your place and being yourself (whether it is comfortable or not). 

      You are so right! If we are busy trying to be someone else who will do the thing that we are called to do? I don’t want to be held accountable for copying others well but not being obedient to my unique calling.

      Blessings to you! (P.S. You are often in my prayers!)

  8. I seem to write about comparison a lot on my blog. Comparison of my children, my blog, my looks, my life. I realize it comes out in my writing so often because it’s something that God is constantly working in me. There are comparisons I wasn’t even aware of until I started blogging. It’s revealed how insecure I can get when I’m not focused on who He’s called me to be and am looking to everyone else in comparison. It’s always good to hear from someone else and be reminded that we all fulfill a unique purpose for His glory.  

    • I completely understand what you mean Alla. I have written about it quite a bit as well in search for my own sense of peace with where God has me in the moment.  I believe He lets us feel that need and that drive for acceptance, appreciation and value so that we will constantly be drawn to Him.  His heart is to be our encouragement and to lead us to a place of security in who He made each of us to be uniquely.  Once we really discover the truth about how He sees us we overcome in new and amazing ways. Blessings on your journey!

  9. I think this is a girl thing.  Am I wrong?  I’m not a mommy blogger, but I’m kinda jealous of their endless source of inspiration.  I’m not a photo blogger, but I’m kinda jealous of their talented eye and ability to fill a page.  I need to focus on who I am and the gifts I’ve been given.  I appreciate all my followers and comments.  I’m getting better at being “ok” when I lose a follower or if my stats drop.  I LIVE for the day I can let them go, altogether.  God is good and he loves me so much he sent his son to die for my sins so I could be reconciled to him.  Praise God.

    • Yes, a girl thing for sure. It’s really our cry for worth and value that seeks to measure up with others.  Not that we cannot celebrate the successes just as long as our worth comes from our Creator and not His other creations. 
      Yes, praise God that He constantly pursues us and already has reconciled us to him!

  10. I reallly appreciated this little fwap on the keester to remind me its not the numbers, comments, look, but the calling!!

  11. Great post!  I tell myself, my daughters, and my life coaching clients who are struggling with insecurity and inadequacy,  that if we want what someone else has, we have to want their whole package…the good, the bad, the ugly, the difficult.  It seems to do a pretty good job on shifting an attitude of discontentment into  an attitude of gratitude,

    • That is so true Elisa! Pain and struggle comes before a breakthrough and often we are drawn to those who have overcome a tragedy.  That is a good reminder for bloggers too. Thank you for sharing!

  12. I love this post. I often feel like I have to put on “blinders” and intentionally look ahead at what God has given to ME and asked of ME. Comparison can be draining and ultimately crushing. Thanks for the great reminders. “You are His favorite you!”

  13. Wonderful post!  I think God has given me the gift of teaching.  I teach mothers how to care for the premie babies at the hospital, and I just finished teaching my friend how to train for a 1/2 marathon.  Teaching isn’t something I’ve ‘put’ into my blog.  I need to figure out how to do that.  I’m great one-on-one, but haven’t thought about how to transfer that to the virtual world.  I am so envious of the other blogs that I read….hundreds of followers and many comments.  I try to remember that the writing is for me.  HE wants me to write, to improve my writing, and just journal my thoughts, as crazy as they may be.  

  14. My feelings about blogging have definitely been a journey. When I started 2 1/2 years ago, it was really just for fun…but then….but THEN! then you start to look at other blogs, and see what other people are doing, you attend conferences and really see what other people are doing and you begin to feel SO inadequate…I’m starting to come around to the other side of that feeling now…just being grateful for who God made me, and how he can use blogging in my life (sometimes its merely writing practice…), and I’m starting to be ok with that! Starting to…Thanks for the post! 

  15. I love this post. I am often plagued by the “comparison game”. It’s exhausting! I will lay it down at the altar and then pick it right back up again when I see an awesome post or a pretty blog design, thinking “Why can’t I be like that?!” Thanks for the great reminders that He doesn’t compare me to anyone. I definitely need to remind myself of that every single day!
    Jen
    http://www.thegodchick.com

  16. I am so guilty of this. When I notice the most? When I am on the “same page” as someone and then they get picked up to contribute/guest post other places and start growing their numbers. I think: oh man! What can I come up with to post there! I wish I had thought of that!” Meanwhile, back at the ranch…I have my own ideas and my own posts to focus on…and of course, my sweet Savior!

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