The moment everything changed for me as an actress didn’t happen in front of a camera and it didn’t take place in an acting class. I had walked three miles from my tiny apartment in North Hollywood to Ventura Blvd. for a Jamba Juice. The day was hot, even for the valley, and I’d worked up a healthy sweat by the time I pulled open the front door and let the air-conditioned room carry my body temperature down a few degrees.
Standing in line to order my fresh squeezed juice I realized that the woman in front of me was a casting director I had auditioned for multiple times. She ordered a shot of wheat grass and a dark green smoothie, paid, and found a seat outside under an umbrella. I placed my own order and waited inside for my name to be called. As I waited I wondered if I should say hello. Should I invite her to the play I was currently in? Would it be uncomfortable if she said no? Or worse… what if she didn’t remember me at all?
Our names were called at the same time and we met there at the juice bar, linking eyes for just a moment. “I know you, don’t I?” Her New York accent was aimed at me. I smiled and reminded her of my name and who my agent was. She remembered. “Come sit with me.” It was more of a command than a request, and all 23 years of me followed.
I realized almost immediately that she was simply looking for conversation, so we talked about the weather and how nice it had been over the weekend. We’d both been to Venice Beach the day before and saw the same man walking around in a yellow thong speedo. She used the term banana hammock and I spit some carrot juice out with a laugh. After throwing her shot of wheatgrass back she reached into her handbag for a cigarette.
Taking a deep drag she eyed me then, up and down, and asked me pointedly, “Do you know what casting directors think when you walk into the room for an audition?”
“No.”
She laughed then, harder than she’d laughed over the man in the yellow speedo. “We want you to be it!” She practically yelled.
“I don’t understand.”
“No, most of you people don’t. Most people go into an interview, an audition, thinking they’re about to be judged, chewed up and rejected. So they come in cautious and careful. What I’m saying is that casting directors and agents… we want you to be brilliant! We pray to God, “Please, let this one be it!” Do you have any idea how much easier our job would be if you came into our office and blew us over? We are rooting for you!”
Her volume rose with each syllable, then crescendoed on that last resounding phrase. “We are rooting for you!” I couldn’t help but believe her.
She stood then, and brashly said good-bye.
I booked the next audition I went on, and the next, and the next. Only one thing had changed: I walked in believing that the person who called my name and sat back on the other side of the desk critiquing my performance, desperately wanted me to be brilliant. So I gave them every ounce of brilliant I had and smiled with confidence, knowing that I had brought my best. And the remarkable thing was… my best was good enough!
It’s been 15 years since I walked those three miles back to my apartment a changed actress. And today I’m working to apply the same lesson to my life in the creative realm of Christian ministry.
Today, when I reach out to women’s ministry directors about speaking at their spring luncheon, I do so knowing that I have something to offer that will make their job easier. I’m not nervous or anxious, because I know that they want the right person for the job! And when I meet with literary agents and publishers about a book proposal that holds chunks of my soul on paper-thin matter, I walk into the room with my chin up and eyes eager to engage. There is no shame, there is no fear, because I believe that those agents and publishers and women’s ministry directors and acquisition editors want me to be it! They want me to make their job easier!
And they want the same from you!
Yeah, that’s it. You want to know what literary agents and publishers really think about you when you walk into the room? They are hoping beyond hope that you’ve got just what they need!
“They are rooting for you!”
And if, perhaps, the answer is no, over and over again no… that just means you haven’t come face to face with the right publisher or agent who needs what you have to offer. So keep working it out, refining the message, and believing that they are rooting for you. And so am I!
Diane Bailey says
May 21, 2015 at 8:42 amOh Wendy, I love this! What great insight!
“And the remarkable thing was… my best was good enough!” And don’t we all need to know this?
Thank you for sharing your experience with the reader to encourage our heart today. Love you, friend!
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:48 pmWish we could up a bunch of those yellow chairs, out on the patio at allume and talk this all through. Many of these blog posts are just conversation starters, aren’t they?
Diane Bailey says
May 27, 2015 at 10:55 pmYes. I look forward to having more conversations with you! Allume for sure!
Becky Keife says
May 21, 2015 at 3:26 pmWhat sweet encouragement to hang on to and apply through the years. Love it!
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:50 pmBecky, you are doing a great job showing up with your A-game every single mothering day… and when it fits, you write such good words! When the time is right, I ahve no doubt you will be able to walk into meetings with Lit agents and publishers and hold your head up high. They will be blessed to know you! I sure am.
Becky Keife says
May 22, 2015 at 1:32 amThank you, sweet friend. Truly. Taking these words to heart tonight. Blessed by you, too.
Tara Ulrich says
May 21, 2015 at 4:00 pmOh Wendy!! All the yeses!! When I get frustrated by my church call, I’m going to remember these words. Too often I get upset with myself because I screwed up etc but you are right…these people and homes I serve are rooting for me!! Thank You friend!!
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:44 pmI’m rooting for you too, Tara!
Laura says
May 21, 2015 at 4:35 pmBoy oh boy how I needed to hear these words, just this afternoon I doubted myself. I read other post, watched a live broadcast about others joining together to changed the world and all the while sat and thought, “What am I really doing? Who am I kidding? I will never be able to do anything great.” Just being honest I doubted myself, gifts, and call and felt well just down right silly for even attempting this dream I have. I needed a good “that a girl, chin up.” I am not anywhere near the level of some of the ladies out there and it can be deathly intimidating. I so want to inspire, write, and do great things and just don’t even know where to start most days, and most days don’t get to start because I am busy being a mom first. I don’t take that calling lightly but there is much more I long to do. Any how all of that to say thank you! Yes I do have what they are looking for and when we meet, I will be ready, and they will have to search no more. Until I will learn, grow, and develop and steward my gifts and talents. 🙂
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:44 pmGood job giving your best to those kiddos of yours. Yes! Keep honing your craft, and stewarding those gifts well, for a time is coming…
Patricia Krank says
May 21, 2015 at 4:56 pmThis is such great news! Thanks for sharing a new perspective for many of us. Blessings to you!
Kris Camealy says
May 21, 2015 at 4:59 pmLove this, Wendy.
Kelli says
May 21, 2015 at 5:55 pmMan, when I read stuff like this from you, I feel like Buddy the Elf. “I know her! I KNOW her!”
You are a constant encouragement to me friend, and you’ve taught me a lot about what it means to stand confident in your gifts and talents. Thanks for sharing this message with us. In a business where the rejection can feel personal and discouraging, it’s nice to hear that people are rooting for us to succeed!
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:41 pmWell, you know what I always say, “The best way to spread blogging cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” Or something in that price range.
Mary says
May 21, 2015 at 7:14 pmI love this and this perspective makes it feel more normal and not so scary. Thank you for this encouragement today.
Wendy Speake says
May 21, 2015 at 9:34 pmPerspective… now isn’t that the word? Perspective has the power to shackle us with paralyzing fear, or send us out commissioned and expectant that God will fulfill what He’s begun!
Amy Tilson says
May 22, 2015 at 9:45 amWow!! I know I would be like that for others, but haven’t ever considered that they would be like that for me. It’s so encouraging, but at the same time convicting for how often I sell others short. Thank you so much. It feels so freeing for endeavor. ♡♡
Cynthia Stuckey says
May 22, 2015 at 3:56 pmSo uplifting and eye-opening, Wendy. Thank YOU.
Colleen Connell Mitchell says
May 25, 2015 at 10:07 amWendy, your heart for encouraging us is such a gift to me! I love this and I love you. Walking away a changed writer.
Lindsey Brackett says
May 29, 2015 at 7:36 amThis is great–especially since I spent last week in the company of editors and agents pitching a novel that was well received.
bethwillismiller says
September 20, 2015 at 8:12 pmSuch great advice! Shows how important what we are believing is! I was once told, “Visualize yourself walking into the interview or presentation smiling, making eye contact with each person, confident, calm, engaging”…it’s amazing how often I think of this, and I believe it helps ❤️