Community is Worth the Risk

This March my man and I celebrated our 4 year house-aversary. We bought our sweet little foreclosure 4 years ago before our little man came along, before children were really budding in our mind. We bought this home with the intention of raising our family here. Our home is within walking distance to schools and playgrounds and we’re surrounded by young families. It’s a great neighborhood. A beautiful neighborhood. We love it here.

But for the first 3 years, we really didn’t feel very connected. It’s just within the last 6 months that we’ve started to get connected. And those first 3 years? They were kind of lonely. 

Prior to having our little man we didn’t really have an excuse to go hangout at the playground to meet families there (without appearing a little creepy), and our surrounding neighbors just seemed to have their own lives- never really biting at our efforts to build a relationship. Our church and most of our church family live a good 20 minutes away, so although we made trips there multiple times a week, it still didn’t make up for our desire to meet neighbors.

Our area isn’t really known for having loads of friendly people {we don’t live in the South}. In fact, most people here have such busy lives and big careers that by the time they get home late at night, they pull into the garage and call it a night. Mingling with neighbors takes extra effort, and those in this area- although hungry for community- don’t necessarily take the time to create it.

Last Fall, when little man was just old enough to play at the playground, I finally met a Mom in a similar stage of life- a Mom who I wanted to be friends with. We met once and I knew which house was hers, but I wasn’t brave enough to ask her to hangout beyond that first meeting. I didn’t want to scare her away with my zealous desire to meet neighbor friends, so I didn’t ask to exchange numbers. I kept going back to the park in hopes of seeing her again, but I never ran into her. I was struggling with the courage to go knock on her door and ask her to “play”.

I told a friend of my insecurity – how being shut down by other neighbors made me shy and insecure about putting myself out there again. She told me to be brave and go knock on her door. So I did. Sadly she wasn’t home that day, but it birthed within me the courage to step out again.

A few weeks later I ran into that Mom and her sweet little one at the park again. We’ve since become friends, and get together frequently. And thanks to her having met another Mom at the park, we now both attend a neighborhood Bible study. Weekly I get to connect with other like-minded ladies and Moms in my neighborhood, and it just fills my heart with such sweet joy! A year ago I never would’ve guessed that there was this community within my community.

It only took that one friend, one time of pursuing a friendship with someone, to open a whole new world for me. I took a chance, laid down the fear of rejection that I’ve too often experienced here, and I intentionally chose to build a bridge towards community. 

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve been hurt before? Maybe you just don’t know how to reach out to others in your neighborhood? Maybe you’re the only one on your block without kids and you have no reason to hangout at the park? I’d encourage you to take a deep breathe and go for it! Step out, knock on their door and bravely introduce yourself. It may not always result in a new friendship, but maybe it will. It’s worth the risk. Community is totally worth the risk. 

And for those who already have that community, I would like to encourage you to get to know the elderly woman next door, invite over that young couple without kids, get to know the single-Mom who looks too busy to stop and say hi.

Make the effort, build the bridge, don’t just sit back in your comfort without first giving them an invitation to join. You never know what door a new friendship can open for both of you!