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5 Ways You Know You’re Doing Too Much

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I am a “go-go-go” person. I seem to somehow involve myself in everything. If I see a need, I usually volunteer. This isn’t a practice I’m encouraging you to emulate-but instead it’s something I’ve lately realized is quite a problem. After years of overcommitting myself, I now see a pattern. It’s a cycle of “go-go-go” followed by a swift crash and burn. When I fill my calendar to the max, my body eventually becomes physically spent and my motivation to be involved in anything outside of sleep waivers.

As writers, mom’s working inside or outside the home, wives, friends, daughters, disciples, and countless other roles, we tend to get involved everywhere, don’t we? We see a need, and we jump in.

And I wonder, have you stopped to look at how this lifestyle is affecting you and those around you? Do you burn-out? Do you recognize when a burn-out is around the corner? Do you recognize when you’ve overcommitted yourself? Only recently have I begun to slow down and truly seek His agenda for my time and energy. With that said:

Here are 5 Ways you know you’ve committed to too much….

  1. You feel like you’re just ‘going through the motions’
  2. You neglect other responsibilities {family, home, job, etc.}
  3. You start to dread the things you normally love
  4. Your body tells you so {‘Can I just get a nap, please?’}
  5. You neglect your time with Jesus

A few years ago I had a very wise friend tell me (and I’m paraphrasing), “a need doesn’t constitute a calling“. This phrase runs through my head often. I now realize that I must sift very carefully through the needs and opportunities laid before me. Just because a ministry volunteer position opened up or someone needs a leader for VBS, doesn’t mean it is my duty, or my calling to step into those roles {even if it is a passion of mine!}. We must go to the Lord over each opportunity presented to us.

Sometimes us ‘go-getter’ types can get caught filling our calendars with what others think we’re supposed to be doing, rather than with what we really should be doing. Sometimes we neglect to pray about who He may want leading a particular ministry, or contributing to specific blog. Maybe He has that role reserved for someone else, and it’s our responsibility to turn down the opportunity on their behalf. Not only will this bless this intended participant, but it could also bless your life in ways not immediately apparent. Perhaps He wants to give you some much needed time to breathe and focus on your family. Maybe He wants you to focus more on your personal blog. Have you thought about that? Sometimes it is our job to pass on opportunities in favor of other women, women who may need the encouragement of another to step up and lead.

If you understand your purpose, it is easier to set boundaries.

-Hula Hoop Girl, by September McCarthy

Each season of life brings new opportunities and new limitations. Because He is the ultimate Ruler in our lives, He deserves to control our schedule, honing in on what we’re called to do for Him in each season. We must ask Him to show us when and how we can step back, give another an opportunity, and determine when He has truly opened a door He wants us to walk through.  We must properly sift through what’s on our respective plates, for if we do, He will not neglect to lead us exactly to where He wants us!

Happy sifting, sisters!

By,  Mandy Scarr

 

Comments

  1. “a need doesn’t constitute a calling“ this is so true. As I have gotten older, I have learned this lesson and find it easier to say no to some things. Thank you for this timely reminder in this busy age we live in!

    • I’m glad it gets easier to say no 🙂 I’m praying it will be for me as I step into motherhood in the next few weeks!

  2. Very true. This spring I stepped out of a lot of things. They were great things, even in areas I do feel called, but it is not the time for most of them. I feel more at peace. Less stress. We do need to pray about every opportunity. Wise words!

    • I LOVE this! Glad you feel at peace with your decisions–He is at the center of that peace! beautiful!

  3. GREAT post, Mandy! This is a hard lesson for so many women. I see you’re just starting your family, so take it from one whose birds have left the nest: You will constantly have to remind yourself of this. The more active your kids become, the more directions you’ll be tugged. Say NO to the good things so you can say YES to the best.
    Hugs from Roanoke 🙂

    • Thanks, Susan! Yes, we are about to start our family. Last year when we started talking about having a babe I was in fear of how busy my life had become–I had taken on too much and saw no signs of stopping–nor being able to say no. God has done a complete makeover in this area of my life–and although it’s a season-by-season learning process–I’m glad He’s working and directing me in this area. I love your words “say NO to the good things so you can say YES to the best”—beautiful!

  4. Going to the Lord over each opportunity presented, is vital to me! You very simply and powerfully laid out how I know I can get to feeling when I neglect to do that. Thank you for the reminder to be still and wait to hear the calling before we jump.

  5. I have absolutely fallen into this trap over the years with a multitude of things. Hubs and I committed at the beginning of this year to simplify our lives, so I have been much more confident in saying “no” at times, and almost feel empowered that I can! This is a great post, Mandy, as always!

  6. I think the top of your post must have said “Dear Julie”. 🙂 There are sooo many great things to do but stop being great if I am falling into that list you created. How can the next thing to do or volunteer for be good if my family is feeling secondary to my pursuits or Jesus never made into my thoughts till lunch time? Conviction! Yesterday I was helping with a camp and gave out wrong information to parents to pick up their kids not one time BUT twice! My over taxed brain was not helpful! It got my attention and unfortunately the attention of 80 parents. Sometimes knowing when to slow down is not obvious. Your list helps Thank you for your timely thoughts!

    • I LOVE when I read a post and it feels like it was meant for me. Thank you for encouraging me that He spoke! Continue to sift through life’s demands–He will guide you to where you are to be!

  8. Oh, Mandy! The timing on this is just incredible! I’ve been really struggling with saying no and just this morning, God revealed it was because I wasn’t completely trusting Him…and a “yes” said out of fear, isn’t good! Yikes. Then I read this! Oh my. Thank you, for this wonderful post. I’ll be sharing it.

    • Christine,

      I love how He speaks to us, don’t you?? So right on! Thanks for the encouragement–I’m glad He spoke! 🙂

  9. Boy, the Lord needed me to read this post today, Mandy!! Thank you so much for addressing this issue that not only affects me but countless numbers of women. Blessings on you!

    • Lara,
      Isn’t it amazing how this does effect women on a large scale. So crazy!

  10. Oh, how I need to read and re-read this. I’m not so great at stepping back and saying no, but that quote: “a need does not constitute a calling” is truly mind-shifting for me. Thank you thank you thank you.

    • Sarah,

      Yes! I needed to hear that just because I felt passionate about something, that doesn’t mean I need to jump in. Sometimes God has other doors for us—and the ones we’re presented with aren’t necessarily our calling.

  14. Love this —> “We must properly sift through what’s on our respective plates, for if we do, He will not neglect to lead us exactly to where He wants us!”

    Really enjoyed this post. Grateful for the reminder and the words of wisdom. Thanks.

  15. “If you understand your purpose, it is easier to set boundaries.” I am clear on my purpose & have clear boundaries. I love the balance God has brought to my life through this truth. A struggle I am having is feeling like an outsider in my church family because of having a clear purpose & boundaries. I am a minority in this & people find it difficult to relate to this balance. Advice?

  16. Uh-oh, I’ve been napping lately – maybe that’s a bad sign! I’ve only recently joined the go-getter crowd, within the last six months. My problem is that I’m trying to catch up all those projects I’ve put off for years all in one year – and it’s far too much to get done. I’m learning to focus on one project at a time and working on letting go of the need to live up to expectations of others – it’s difficult though.

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