I hug my knees against my chest, boots plunged into February sand, watching foamy waves crash onto Northern California shore. Two hundred other women join me, scattered across this quiet stretch of beach—sitting on dunes, dipping bare toes in cold water, or treading over dirt paths. The rustic retreat center is a mile away but otherwise, for this group of women, seemingly off the map. The retreat speaker invited us to spend an hour of meditation, with God. From the moment the speaker’s talk ended and for the next hour, we need to be silent—any temptation to speak reserved for communication, in our hearts, with the Father.
This is the first time I’ve considered being quiet with God, and I have never had anyone share with me that God could talk to them, that He uses our hearts to communicate with us. I had been used to praying to Him, reading the Bible and being in awe of the way God spoke to the hearts of people in the Bible. I am trying to imagine the possibility of God speaking to me, too.
White seagulls squawked and crested surging waves. I open the journal I grabbed from my bedside table at home, the one I took on our first mission trip, to Ethiopia, two years before and hadn’t opened since. Where do I begin? How does one have a conversation with God?
I read what I had scrawled out in my journal during that trip, remembering His faithfulness, His clearing the path for my husband and me to go. I want to feel His closeness now. I want to discern His words in me, His voice bringing peace, but I don’t know how to begin the conversation. So I watch the waves and then scribble down a prayer:
“Father, draw me to you. I remember how you were with us, so near, while in Ethiopia, and I miss you now. Are you here, too? What do you want me to do?” And He tells me, one of the first whispers in my heart I recognize as His, “Be. Just be, and then I will take you where you want to go.”
Previously, my relationship with God was one of convenience—me asking Him for help. So, His response—“Just be”—was something brand new and unfamiliar. I was used to striving, reaching for God—as if His life in me was something I could attain so I could be a better person. His speaking to me on the beach, whispering directly to my heart, took my breath away because it revealed that He was already here.
We are each desperate to be loved for who we already are, this very moment, not for who we believe we need to strive to be. “Just be” answers the cries of our hearts, the prayer that underlies each attempt we make to try to be more than the girl our Father has already created. Who we are, right now, with Him, is more amazing and beautiful than we can even imagine.
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zephaniah 3:17).
Let me tell you something girls . . . I’ve have had to learn this truth the hard way—that God’s presence is not something for us to attain, but, rather, receive. Striving to be in control was the only life I knew how to live, for so long. And it prevented me from realizing that listening to His voice within me, and heeding it, was the only path to the freedom and joy that I truly craved. Is this the case for you, too?
I would love to know your thoughts about God whispering to you, and how we might pray for each other as we surrender and let ourselves be with Him, rather than trying to chase Him down by earning His approval.
Listening with you now,
Karen Blue says
March 12, 2013 at 8:54 amWow. How many of these posts do I ignore in my inbox, because I just don’t have “time”.
Thank you for such a deep-thought-inspiring post, Jennifer!
“Just be, and…”
I really have been doing a lot of chasing, and it is so unnecessary. Thank you for the reminder. It brings joy to my soul.
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 10:17 amKaren, I am tossing aside the award I’ve received in the past, for being an expert “chaser”. I am weary of it . . .I’m with you friend, and praying for both of us as we take off our got-to-do-more shoes and stick around with Him, for a while. 🙂
Lara Sadowski says
March 12, 2013 at 9:40 amJennifer, the Lord led me to your post this morning! What a wonderful reminder for me to “just be” in God’s presence. I understand about striving to be perfect for God, so this is the nudge I needed to just bask in His Holy presence. 🙂 YAY! Thanks so much!
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 10:18 amLara, I am cheering with you, friend! 🙂
Jennifer says
March 12, 2013 at 10:22 am“We are each desperate to be loved for who we already are, this very moment, not for who we believe we need to strive to be.”
This sentence just moved me and stirred my heart so much. I do need to “just be” sometimes. I do have a tendency to do too much “being”, though, and not enough “acting”! I have to find that balance and act when He wants me to act and be when He wants me to be! It’s listening to that Voice and just walking in His presence continually. The more I do it, the easier it becomes. Thank you for a beautiful post.
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 11:22 am‘It’s just listening to that Voice and just walking in His presence continually.” Love that, Jennifer. Yes! Being in His presence is our invitation to go where He goes . . and to yes, act so we move with Him. And I love how it begins with knowing that we can’t be loved more, or be more, than the amazing daughters whom He already sees, in their fullness, with Him! Thanks so much, Jennifer.
Kim Hall says
March 12, 2013 at 12:27 pm“God’s presence is not something for us to attain, but, rather, receive.”
That is priceless, Jennifer, and a beautiful post.
There was a time not too long ago—less than a decade—in which I never prayed, let alone listen for or to God. As I began the path to my relationship with God, I learned to pray, and especially to be silent. That was a revelation in itself. But then, to hear Him, knocked me right over. Now I understand the command to be still, and love the peace and refreshment it brings.
Mia says
March 12, 2013 at 2:57 pmDear Jennifer
I was so sad when I started to read your post. Always remember that the One who have SPOKEN everything into being is not quiet now, we have just reduced Him to letters in a book! We have stopped listening! Just be still and know He is God. Dear one, He speaks to any heart who is open and willing to hear! Just ask Him to open your heart!
Much love
Mia
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 4:19 pmMia, Oh, a journey I’ve been on! This retreat I speak of was four years ago . . Wow. Yes, He speaks to our hearts–our very hearts the pages of His scroll. I love reading those words there. XO
kelli woodford says
March 12, 2013 at 3:45 pmoh, i love this. pardon my rant, but you’ve hit a sore spot.
we (by that i mean me, the church, y’know) get so caught up in the message that the “grace of Christ must not be without effect” that messages like yours scare us. “just be.” and i think we’ve let fear in so far that we have oftentimes strangled what used to be good news, no — wild, crazy, wonderful news — and have just made it meh, okay. as exciting and volatile as a limp dishrag. we’ve changed the life-giving message of “God just wants to love us” into “God won’t love us unless we are changed by him” and it’s killing us. it might be changing us in some ways, but with no more power than whitewash changes the decay within the tomb.
thank you for your courage in speaking what the Spirit says to a listening ear. and reminding us all of the reason why it’s called good news.
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 11:05 pmKelli, your words are just so true, my friend. I am tired of this, too. Thank you.
Karrilee Aggett says
March 12, 2013 at 6:50 pmI love this sweet friend! It should come as no surprise that I linked to a book today in my post entitled “Listening Prayer”… it is all about quieting ourselves and asking Him questions… then listening for His response! Our relationship with God is – well – relational and sometimes He can be oh so chatty if we just stop talking and listen! The Presence of God is with us always… within us for the same spirit that rose Christ from the dead dwells in our mortal bodies… we simply turn our attention toward Him and He is there… full on and all in! <3
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 11:07 pmYes, His Spirit within us, just as it was in Christ. Amazing and yes, this is our Guide to the whispers of God. Let our hearts hear Him even more clearly!
soulstops says
March 12, 2013 at 8:17 pmThank you, dear friend, for reminding us of the power of just being with Him…our love relationship with Him, and receiving His love…such a needed word…hugs to you 🙂
Jennifer Camp says
March 12, 2013 at 11:08 pmIt is the most amazing life He gives us–to know that He speaks to our hearts and we are made to connect with Him! xo
Heather Mertens says
March 13, 2013 at 12:22 amJennifer, I sadly/sweetly rejoice with you because it is the wandering around that we do that makes us sad (it took us so long!), but it is in that wandering we learn to really “get God!” (That is why I named my blog 40YearWanderer! LOL) I loved your post and ‘wandered on over’ to follow your blog. 😉 Blessings to you! – Heather
Missindeedy says
March 13, 2013 at 10:10 pm“Just be.” most certainly answers the cry of this girl’s heart, too. Oh, it does. In those loud moments when everything clamoring begins to take over, I can always, somehow, hear His whisper. And when I get brave enough to say “Silence!” to the clamoring, His whispers are sweet and just want my soul longs for. I loved this encouragement to heed God’s quiet call, Jennifer.