Saying Yes to What is Best.. (And a BIG Announcement)

The Best Yes

A couple of days ago, I was super excited to receive in the mail an advanced reader’s copy of my friend Lysa Terkeurst’s new book, “The Best Yes.”  And while I can’t wait to finish the whole book, the title struck me immediately and I put a sticker from the box that says “Is this my best yes?” directly onto the back of my phone.  Because let’s be honest….if one of my babes is tugging at my shirt needing snuggles and some time with me, I often need to put the phone down with all of its apps and emails and social media pulls.  It is just not my best yes.

But it’s not only our phones that beg that question of us either.  It’s our time, our relationships, and our commitments that can force us into not being able to give our best yesses to the people or things that deserve them.  In her book, Lysa says “The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep.  The schedule you keep determines the life you live.  And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.”  Annie Dillard puts it this way, “How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.”

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I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live stressed and overwhelmed with an underwhelmed soul…and I don’t want the people I love to live like that either.  I want to spend my days in ways that testify to a life well lived.  But, if we can’t say the hard “no’s” sometimes, then we need to know that can also prevent us from the capacity to give our best yes.

So when my dear friend Ann Voskamp wrote me very recently and said that as much as she adores and cherishes Allume, for this time in their family, it just isn’t their best yes, I blessed her with all the blessings of our entire community and told her we need the examples of more women being willing to say the hard “No”, so that they can walk in the best “Yes”.  What this means for us is that we will sadly not have the pleasure of hosting sweet Ann for what would have been her 5th Allume.  But… what it means also is that we support one of our sisters in releasing her to being able to follow the Lord in obedience to say her best “Yes” in the place that needs it most.

And while no one would dare to say that any one of God’s children is replaceable (and certainly we all agree that Ann is one-of-a-kind), we do have the pleasure of bringing someone new into our community to keynote at Allume this fall.  Because don’t you know that the Lord loves to give his children good gifts, and those good gifts DO extend to the opportunities we have to hear his own speak and honor him?!

In one week I received separate messages from an old high school friend, Anna, who is a fabulously talented makeup artist in LA, and my dear friend and literary agent, Don Jacobson, both telling me that I just had to meet their friend Sarah Dubbeldam.  Don has known Sarah for years as a friend of his daughter, and Anna is the beauty editor for the stunningly gorgeous magazine that Sarah is the editor-in-chief of called Darling.  Sarah and I finally got to connect, and all the while I’ve continued praying that the Lord would make clear his plans for Allume this year.  After Sarah and I got off the phone, we both just knew that there was something special that the Lord was doing, but neither of us knew quite what it was.

So here we are now.  Our Ann gets to give her best yes to her family… paving the way for Sarah to give her best yes to us!

Friends, get super excited because you’re in for a treat this fall when we have the pleasure of presenting to you our friend, Sarah Dubbeldam.

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Sarah Dubbeldam is the founder and Editor in Chief of Darling Magazine, an artistic quarterly publication that seeks to broaden the “ideals” of beauty in media and speak real, time-tested wisdom to women. Now recognized across the nation in over 100 retailers such as Whole Foods, Nordstrom and Anthropologie, the magazine is broadening into a social media movement with it’s “no Photoshop” policy and call for women to know their true worth. Sarah and her team are most excited about Darling’s recent partnership with International Justice Mission to help eradicate sex trafficking in South America. Sarah lives with her husband Steve, the CEO of Darling, in Los Angeles, California.

Connect with Sarah on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, and make sure too to check out Darling!  Get ready to swoon friends…it’s stunningly beautiful and fully encouraging!

*And while we’re talking about it, What do you need to say no to, in order to give your best yes? We’d love for you to share in the comments below.  (Make sure to check out Lysa’s book, “The Best Yes” available HERE! and enjoy “The Best Yes” blog tour coming soon too!)

Logan

Logan is the Executive Director of Allume and an infrequent blogger. Daughter of a most extravagant and hospitable King, wife to Jeremy, and mother to 2 wild and inquisitive little boys, her days are filled with a combination of routine and plenty of the unexpected. No stranger to broken dreams, she has found that a curious following of the Ultimate Creative, Jesus, has led her into a faith that is fuller and a life that is more exciting. Stay-at-home-mom and interior decorator, turned speaker, writer, and Allume owner and host, Logan consistently finds that God doesn’t necessarily call the equipped, but he will always equip the called. Logan is currently in process writing her first book due to come out whenever she finishes it and someone decides to publish it. In the meantime, you can find her musings at her blog LoganWolfram.com.

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Letter from Logan: The Marrow of Living

woods

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.” –  Henry David Thoreau

Last month I wrote about functioning with a lack of margin in our lives.  I had begun to feel like life was a whirring blender and I was getting chopped up in it.  Sufficed to say, that is not how I want to live.

I’ve always been of the opinion that if there are things in your life that aren’t working for you…CHANGE IT.

I realize that sounds very black and white and it’s not really always that simple, but the truth is that hard decisions are never simple.  Priorities need to get shifted and sometimes making space to breathe can even mean scheduling unplanned time.

A few days after the margin post I went to the lake with a handful of my closest friends.  We had great plans for jump starting summer’s bronze glow on our skin and sipping sweet tea on the edge of lounge chairs all day.

Turned out, it was cold.

We wore bathing suits on the porch that shortly thereafter got covered with fuzzy blankets.  Not long after the blanketing, in full resignation to the chill bumps covering our skin, we came back inside and put on pajamas and slippers.

Katie and Lindsey brought art supplies with them.  I didn’t feel like just sitting and so asked if I could have a piece of paper and use Katie’s watercolors.

I’m not entirely sure how to explain what happened in my soul in the hours following.  The space between us filled with conversation, and something apparently bottled up in my spirit began to release between brush strokes of colored water onto thick, textured cardstock.  And when I painted the word “breathe” as if prompted by heaven itself, the tears began to roll.

Sometimes we forget to….

breathe

For hours we found ourselves slowly gathering around the table…painting, releasing, sharing, dreaming, encouraging.  We made lots of art.  We remembered that God was the first creative, and that he put that creativity into each of us too.

But when creativity becomes a machine in us, and we begin to produce instead of create, something tenses up and we find ourselves trapped.

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So we make space, and walk in freedom again and create without thought of the end result… and something releases.

*           *           *

Last weekend my family went to the mountains.  And something in my spirit began to exhale again.  I didn’t even know I’d been holding my breath for so long.  Sometimes it’s like that.

Like Thoreau said, I want to suck the marrow out of life.  I want to sit by streams while my kids fish and color what I see.

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I want to strip trees of bark and make baskets and fill them with wildflowers and strawberries that scatter across hills.

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I want to “live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life.”

And I want to encourage you to do that too.

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples 

a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine, 

of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined. 

 And he will swallow up on this mountain 

the covering that is cast over all peoples, 

the veil that is spread over all nations. 

 He will swallow up death forever; 

and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, 

and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,

for the Lord has spoken. 

 It will be said on that day,

“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. 

This is the Lord; we have waited for him; 

let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” – Is 25:6-9

**What do you need to cast off, to cut away, or to make space for?  Let’s live full together.  Let’s suck the marrow out of living.

Logan

Logan is the Executive Director of Allume and an infrequent blogger. Daughter of a most extravagant and hospitable King, wife to Jeremy, and mother to 2 wild and inquisitive little boys, her days are filled with a combination of routine and plenty of the unexpected. No stranger to broken dreams, she has found that a curious following of the Ultimate Creative, Jesus, has led her into a faith that is fuller and a life that is more exciting. Stay-at-home-mom and interior decorator, turned speaker, writer, and Allume owner and host, Logan consistently finds that God doesn’t necessarily call the equipped, but he will always equip the called. Logan is currently in process writing her first book due to come out whenever she finishes it and someone decides to publish it. In the meantime, you can find her musings at her blog LoganWolfram.com.

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Letter from Logan: Margin

margin

 

I heard a sermon several years ago that was one of those that really stuck with me.  Maybe it’s that I feel it often pushed into my mind since I need to remember it.  Maybe, it was just one of those sticky sort of thoughts that resonated and keeps circling back around.  Perhaps I see a need for the word that was shared around me…perhaps I need to practice it more myself.

It was about margin.

Margin…that space between feeling like there is plenty of room to move around and being crammed against a wall.  The edge or border. It’s what keeps a book from feeling stressful when we read…the space between the end of one thought and the end of a page.  Imagine reading where words ran to the very side and into the very center binding.  It feels suffocating to imagine literature laid out in such disarray….no room to think, to ponder, or to breathe between paragraphs even.

Funny how people talk about margin of error too…that tiny space between doing something right and messing it up completely.  The amount by which a thing is won, or falls short.

And life without margin, well that seems absolutely suffocating.

But the truth is that most of us don’t leave enough of it.  Most of us run activities up to bedtime and then even from a propped pillow and outstretched legs, the work goes on.  We facebook or write blog posts or books or work on family budgets.

Our allotment of margin seems to be about as generous as our attitudes while waiting a blessed 10 full minutes in the line of a restaurant touting itself as “fast food.”

I’ve been running the past 2 weeks without margin.  And I kid you not, it feels like the breath has been kicked out of my lungs.

Now I’m not saying that I regret any of the things I’ve done.  Sarah Mae and I attended the Mom’s Night Out premiere in LA, I attended the funeral of Pure Charity’s founder Josh Copher, attended a K3 fieldtrip with one son, and threw my older son’s very first sleepover birthday party.  Individually, none of those things were impossible to do.  Even together would have made for a super full week…words run right up close to the binding of the book of my life.  But when my son came home from school a week ago with head lice, I thought I was going to blow my lid.

“I DO NOT HAVE MARGIN FOR THIS!!!” I yelled on the phone through tears to my husband.

And I didn’t.

So I panicked and stressed and missed out on things I’d tried to make time to do and couldn’t.  And then I felt like a failure.  I missed my son’s actual birthday, I missed a weekend of time with my family, my parents, and my sister’s family from NY.  Everything I did, needed to be done, but the balls I was trying to juggle in the air came crashing down and cracked open on the floor like eggs…fragile, messy, and broken.

Because I didn’t make space for the unexpected.  I didn’t preserve margin for life unplanned.

And so… busy moms and women out there reading this, let me put out this challenge to us as a community to make room for unexpected living.  Make room for afternoons of popsicles with our kids on the porch.  Make room to write the blog post that was due by midnight last night (ahem…yes, I’m nearly 24 hours late on this), make room for unexpected drop ins from friends, or the craft project that feeds your soul.  Make room for cooking a good dinner, and actually sitting down to enjoy it.

We can’t be a people of invitational living, if we operate beyond the margins and thereby force ourselves into rigid and stressful function.

Lets live full… to take in the content we’re living, because we leave enough room to savor it.

**If you’re great at this, please share a few tips that you employ to create margin in your life.  If you’re not, share below a couple of things that you can put into practice right now to help put more margin back into your living.

Logan

Logan is the Executive Director of Allume and an infrequent blogger. Daughter of a most extravagant and hospitable King, wife to Jeremy, and mother to 2 wild and inquisitive little boys, her days are filled with a combination of routine and plenty of the unexpected. No stranger to broken dreams, she has found that a curious following of the Ultimate Creative, Jesus, has led her into a faith that is fuller and a life that is more exciting. Stay-at-home-mom and interior decorator, turned speaker, writer, and Allume owner and host, Logan consistently finds that God doesn’t necessarily call the equipped, but he will always equip the called. Logan is currently in process writing her first book due to come out whenever she finishes it and someone decides to publish it. In the meantime, you can find her musings at her blog LoganWolfram.com.

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